And the agent is wearing clearly labeled government insignia distinguishing him from just some random intruder in the maternity ward.

I’m pretty sure they just had us brute-force memorize all of the single digit additions and multiplications in grade school. Seemed to work out okay for me.

I haven’t used AeroPress, but I appreciate that the French press is equally useful for making both hot and cold brew coffee. Mine is all-metal and you could just about beat someone to death with it.

Titan AE Drinking Game:

Drink every time…

• Someone says Drej, Earth, or Human

• Something explodes

• Someone speaks an alien language you haven’t already heard in the movie

Surveys indicate that 100% of people respond to surveys.

Electric kettle.

Bone conduction headphones.

Rechargeable head lamp.

Nice EDC knife.

Driving gloves.

A really good insulated cup.

French press.

Digital kitchen scale.

Slow cooker.

Except for “Fuck the Pain Away.” That’s about clipping grocery store coupons.

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There are people who, disturbed by “big government” today and its tendency to curb the advantages they might gain if their competitiveness were allowed free flow, demand “less govern- ment.” Alas, there is no such thing as less government, merely changes in government. If the libertarians had their way, the distant bureaucracy would vanish and the local bully would be in charge. Personally, I prefer the distant bureaucracy, which may not find me, over the local bully, who certainly will. And all historical precedent shows a change to localism to be for the worse.

—Isaac Asimov, Nice Guys Finish First, collected in The Sun Shines Bright, 1981

Conan the Barbarian (1982) has no right to be as good as it is. On paper, it’s a dumb sword and sorcery flick with a body builder who could barely speak English in the lead. But everyone involved does an incredible job, from the acting to the directing, to the score. It’s a crime that Destroyer trashed up the formula, and we never got Conan the King.

I cried when they canceled The Venture Brothers.

My best friends and I watched every new episode when they aired while we were in college. After I graduated we all pretty much drifted apart, but when Publick and Hammer would actually get around to putting out another season it felt like I was back in that dorm lobby on that smelly couch, watching this show on a huge rear protection TV, with a group of people that were closer to me than anyone ever before or since.

When they canceled the show it felt like there was this unicorn at the zoo, and then one day the zookeeper just went out into the enclosure, blew its brains out, shrugged, and announced “Too expensive to feed!” I was devastated.

Being hired as security at a billionaire’s Hawaiian apocalypse bunker has got to be the best job imaginable. You get paid to live in a tropical paradise in case The Worst should happen. If The Worst actually does happen, you just go inside the bunker and lock the doors, and if the billionaire shows up, you don’t let him in. Easy peasy.

Red Alert 2

Heroes of Might and Magic 3

Super Mario Brothers 3

Fans of The The in absolute shambles.

“So anyway, that was the beginning of my transition journey and also how I became an absolute master of giving HJs.”

Praise to Shai Hulud. May his passing cleanse the world.