southsamurai

Hard to say for sure.

I have jeans that are still wearable from the 90s. Maybe need some patching here and there, but the important parts are solid. New jeans, however, have turned shitty. The fabric new is thinner than the heavily worn stuff that’s decades old.

Shirts are too variable to begin with. But, I tend to wear mostly tees and tanks day-to-day, so my nicer shirts last ages. I still have a shirt my barometer grandmother bought me in 1994 that’s in great shape, though too tight nowadays. In fairness, there was about five years I couldn’t wear it because it wouldn’t fit my shoulders or chest at all. But I then stopped lifting big and dropped mass.

Thing is, I have a fubu tee that’s from the late nineties or early naughties that I wore the hell out of, and still do. That sucker has zero holes in it, and almost mo stretching in the collar. The only problem with it is some stains and the thicker printing on it is crackly.

I have tees and tanks I bought in the last three years that are in worse shape despite being worn less.

So, the stuff that’s made well, I could probably be buried in in 20 years and it would still be presentable.

Other stuff, particularly the newer jeans, I don’t see lasting five years.

But it’s also true that the more clothes you have, the longer each piece will last. And I have amassed several boxes of clothing that I don’t wear regularly because I don’t like the fit, or they aren’t comfy material, or whatever. So, rough guesstimate, I could go months without recycling outerwear. It’s undies that take a beating in comparison because they get worn at a faster rotation.

Socks, I’d be screwed. I have massive fucking feet, and while I’m barefoot at home, they wear out fast. I can’t keep even hard wear socks more than maybe two years or so.

Is it me you’re looking for?

An incel stuck in a dead end job

No joke? I haven’t been to a cracker barrel in ages. I had no clue they offer it. Thanks :)

Ha! We can get marmite and vegemite here in the states. And they’re both fucking delicious when used right.

But, you can’t get applebutter anything in the wild around here. Might be possible elsewhere, but I haven’t run across it.

Not sure what is and isn’t a thing elsewhere, but applebutter isa strongly spiced apple product used as a spread. It’s sweet rather than savory. It typically features cloves, cinnamon and allspice as the main spices, in varying proportions. It is also fucking amazing.

But you won’t find it in restaurants at all.

There is a great southern tradition of applebutter biscuits. Biscuits here, again in case it isn’t known, are a fluffy, light, scone-like quickbread. And it’s similar to your scenario. Places could offer that as a menu option and bring it to you. They could possibly make a deal for individual packets of it like exist for jelly, and bring that with biscuits. But nobody does.

It’s one of those things that if you came over here, you can’t find it in restaurants. Even worse, while you can buy commercially made applebutter (there’s a few brands out there) they are all inferior to even mid tier homemade applebutter. So you can’t even buy the experience the way people can at home. You can’t just go out and buy Whitehouse applebutter and get the right texture and taste on your biscuits (or toast, or crumpets).

The commercially made options are all too thin for one thing. They don’t spread like applebutter is supposed to. It’s supposed to have a thick consistency, closer to something like a jam or preserve. The commercial stuff is also over-homogeneous and too finely textured. Homemade is going to have small chunks of softened apple as opposed to a blended texture.

The spice mix in store bought also tends to be both blander and too , I dunno, even? Homemade, you get layers of the spices. Store bought, you get one layer, there’s no depth to it. Part of that is it being made in huge batches, and part is the longer time from jar to your mouth; so I can’t say it’s anything the makers have cheaped out on or anything. But it is not as good as what you make yourself (or someone’s grammy makes).

Also, marmite and applebutter on toast is absurd in how good it is. The savory and salty bang of marmite with a spoonful of sweet, spicy applebutter on top will make you want to slap yo mama. I find marmite and vegemite don’t do well on biscuits compared to toast, english muffins, or the like. Too much bread for it to really pop unless you do an entire spoonful, at which point it’s too much.

Gotcha :)

The biggest one is called epididymal hypertension. Aka the blue balls. It’s a real thing. While it can’t cause injury, and it isn’t the end of the world, it hurts lol.

The process of holding off ejaculation builds up the pressure that causes the pain. Given enough time, it’s not a matter of if, but when it will happen.

There’s the difficulty that part of arousal is mental. In theory, you can go indefinitely. In practice, you can run into limits because you’re losing interest. You just lose the erection entirely.

That, in turn, can lead to what I’ve heard called “sad cock syndrome”. Again, part of arousal and sex is mental. Your head game isn’t just about oral sex. If your mind isn’t present and engaged, the junk isn’t going to last. You can end up where not orgasming, or not ejaculating without intervention can become a mental block of sorts. Your subconscious gets the idea that sex or masturbation isn’t going to pay off soon enough, so it ends up just deciding to opt out.

In other words, it can end up where you accidentally convince part of your mind that getting an erection is a waste of time. Yeah, you’ll still get erections when asleep, and even orgasm then. But when awake, the sad cock refuses to crow.

Now, I’ve never had that happen myself. Nor have any of the guys I know that can do all this. But I have heard of it happening. In general, the process of learning to control your breathing and the related meditative skills gives you the inner balance that your subconscious won’t be that separate from your intent. But not everyone spends as much time on the inner growth as they do on the bare minimum to achieve their sexual goals.

Tangential to that, you run into issues with partners. Masturbation, you can go as long as your skin can take. But when you’re with another person, lasting too long is a thing. Not everyone enjoys hours of sex. Certainly not every single time. Some can’t handle even an hour of actual penis in body sex before they’re sore, or rubbed raw. When that’s the case, it’s wise to have also figured out how to accelerate orgasm (which is easy enough since you’ll array already know how if you paid attention to your arousal stages while learning to delay. It’s just using the muscles and breathing to generate the kind of spasms of orgasm under control and then letting them spread from there once the right phase of arousal is present).

There’s also a bit of a transitional phase sometimes. You’ll be coasting along, doing the muscle control parts, but because you aren’t used to it, you kind of wear them out. It’s like doing a bunch of bench presses and then your arms turn to rubber. The muscles just nope out until they recover. That means you’re there, hard and ready, but you can’t orgasm or ejaculate because the muscles down there are exhausted. That goes away as you develop stamina with them, but there were many times that happened to me lol.

Well, I’m going to approach this as friendly as possible. But you need to be aware that a lot of what you said in your post is just bad thinking, and there’s no way to answer it without making that point. It may feel like an attack because it’s essentially all saying that you’re wrong, but that’s not the intent. The intent is to guide you towards healthier thinking.

First, leagues are all in your head. They always have been and always will be, so long as where you live allows people to date/marry freely. Like, if you’re somewhere with a caste system of some kind where you literally aren’t allowed to be with someone of a different caste. I’m not talking about simple social pressures.

It is true that some people think in terms of leagues. They have their idea of what league they’re in, by whatever criteria they have, and they’ll make their decisions bases on that.

But that has nothing to do with you, or me, or anyone that chooses to ignore the fuck out of that kind of stupidity.

It is also true that attraction within your sexual orientation isn’t something you can choose. It is, however, something you can change. I’ll come back to that in a sec.

First though, our attraction to people within our orientation is not the same as orientation. Full stop, no bullshit, it isn’t something that is even remotely debatable at this point because there’s just too much evidence of it being the case. Being attracted to men, women, both, and (most likely, though there’s a lot less understanding of the whys and hows) neither is something that happens before you are born.

It cannot be changed, period. The most that can occur is someone realizing that their orientation isn’t as simple as they thought it was, then accepting that new awareness. Example: a gay dude may eventually realize there are very limited situations where he may be sexually attracted to a woman. This isn’t a change in his orientation, it’s simply a greater awareness of it.

So, please do absorb that and in the future avoid comparing your preferred looks/social status/whatever to sexual (or romantic) orientation. It’s just going to cause you problems, and in a way that will make it harder for you to find help with questions like this.

But, southsamurai, you say; how is it possible to change the rest? And, why did I have the attractions I have if it wasn’t a choice, but it’s changeable?

That’s a big hurdle to get past. Seriously, it’s hard.

Our ideas of what is and isn’t beautiful/attractive are formed before we even have the brain development to be attracted in any real way.

Now, there’s a limit to how much I’m willing to do in the way of explaining how I came across this all because it’s been in pieces over decades. I can’t link you to studies and publications because a lot of it came pre-internet on paper. So you’ll have to dig into it on your own if you want to connection or disprove any of this. I’m too damn old to do free reports, you dig?

Part of attraction is ingrained. We humans have a universal preference for two things) symmetry and adherence to the golden ratio. The Golden ratio is a little number that represents an ideal relationship between objects and their size. For example, if you look at someone’s ears, the ratio of them compared to their face width. The closer that ratio is to the golden ratio, the more attractive that face will be.

The symmetry is usually left/right, but it applies to other things too.

Now, you’re born with that level of preference. Even babies prefer looking at faces that are more symmetric, and closer to the golden ratio

But that says nothing at all about any of the other features.

So, what about things like hair and eye color? Where do our preferences for that kind of thing come from.

We learn it. Our exposure to other people when we’re very young influences it the most. We form our ideals of beauty by seeing our family, our neighbors, and eventually our teachers and peers. This all happens without conscious thought. It happens before we have the ability to even realize it’s happening.

It can even be formed inverted, where we reject some traits because of those early exposures. As an example, let’s say your aunt is mean as fuck. She’s blonde, so you end up not liking blondes. That’s over simplified, but that’s the idea of inverted beauty standards being formed. It doesn’t have to be that severe though.

There’s another aspect where familiarity is more likely to generate attraction. What you see most gets laid down as safe and constant. So you’re more likely to end up attracted to the familiar on average. It isn’t as universal as other aspects, and it can be inverted too, but it’s the norm. People tend to pick faces that resemble their early childhood exposure as being more attractive than otherwise.

Which means that if you’re surrounded by all blondes growing up, you’re more likely to find blondes attractive. Again, it can be inverted where you reject the familiar, and prefer everything else (which is supposedly about preventing inbreeding).

So, by the time you hit puberty, you’ve got this set of templates in your head that say “pretty”. Any person you meet gets placed against that template, and the closer they are to it, the prettier you think they are.

Okay, so how can we change that? If we start out only attracted to dwarf albino Basque women, we’re kinda SOL if we can’t change our standards of beauty. There just aren’t that many matches in the first place.

We change it the same way we formed it. We expose ourselves to variety. Given enough time, it will happen anyway. But you can speed it up by exposing yourself to images of other “types” in a controlled way. Get on the internet in a relaxed setting, with some comfort foods, or have a drink, or smoke a joint, or all of the above. The point is to set yourself up to be relaxed and feeling good. As you look at faces that don’t match your current preferences, you’ll be building up new layers of association.

This doesn’t apply just to faces. Works the same with bodies. Into super buff ladies? Do the same thing while looking at thicc ladies, super skinny ladies, or whatever, and you’ll eventually expand your tastes. Perhaps not to the degree that you’re as attracted to a skinny lady as you are to the gym goddess, but you’ll find that if you actually find a skinny lady and interact with her and it goes somewhere, that it will actually end up being your new preference, so long as you’re genuinely interacting with that person.

You can’t force attraction. But you can change your overall range. If you then act on that expanded range, and you get enough of those wonderful reinforcements like kisses and hugs and the holy grail of cuddles, your brain gets a massive dose of chemicals and positive experiences that rewrite everything.

But, how far does that go?

As far as you’re willing to take it. Truth is that even someone massively deformed, so that they aren’t anywhere close to the golden ratio or symmetry can be attractive to anyone. No bullshit, no being idealistic. Our brains are perfectly willing to ignore those facets so long as there are positives that counter them.

You ever see someone objectively unpleasant looking with someone that’s traditionally gorgeous? It happens. If you’re willing to abandon preconceptions, you can find anyone attractive. It’s all a matter of having those positive interactions that generate the right brain chemicals.

Leagues are imaginary. They’re lies we convince ourselves are true.

But, southsamurai you asshole, I’m ugly! How the fuck does that help me?

Well, you have to be able to interact with people in a way that generates those good feelings. The way to do that is to not treat people like a goal. You don’t think of them as something to gain or achieve. You don’t think of them as something at all. You discover who they are, while being a decent human being.

Part of that means abandoning entirely any concept of leagues. You have to eject and reject the concept that a person’s value is in their attractiveness at all. That means for yourself as well. If you’re thinking of things the way you are in your post, you have zero chance with anyone because you’ll only be capable of surface interactions. You could find the hottest model in the world, and get with her, but you’ll eventually lose her because you think of her as a hot model instead of “Jessica, this lady that is awesome”.

I promise you, if you abandon the concept of leagues, if you cut off the idea that “hotness”, beauty, sexual attraction, is important to long term happiness, you’ll be more attractive to everyone. You’ll have more friends. You’ll have partners. It may take longer to find a partner the more you diverge from symmetry and the golden ratio, because you have to encounter people that have gotten past the idea of looks being the center of attraction. But you will find them.

One of the great secrets of dating and sexual “success” is that the more you chase it, the less you’ll find it. The act of looking at other people as a goal to be achieved makes everything you say and do less likely to be attractive. At best, if you fake it well enough, you’ll fool people long enough to become someone they regret.

So, there you go my young homie. The collected knowledge of half a century of living, loving, and looking like a sasquatch while doing so.

When people say “work on yourself”, they rarely give useful advice beyond that. They’ll talk about maximizing your appearance, staying clean and dressing well, exercising, whatever.

But the stone cold truth is that none of that matters. Assuming we don’t get cancer or run over by am elephant, we all end up wrinkled, with saggy skin and aching joints. Ending up that way alone is horrible. You want another wrinkled, aching, saggy person with you as close to the end as possible. Looks ain’t shit. Looks don’t keep you warm at night.

I get what you mean.

But I meant that if they aren’t using Facebook to keep in contact, then they’re was no point in them being connected.

Dude, you do realize that that still has nothing to do with the comment you responded to?

If you had made it as a top level comment of your own, it would make sense. Maybe that’s what you intended; I know I’ve fucked that up many a time.

Again, my only issue is that what you said wasn’t connected to the comment above it, but the content of your statements.

You know, I’m torn with Dexter books vs show. I tend to be of the mind that translating a book to other media sacrifices a lot of what makes the books great, and I do believe that.

I’m also against changing a book so radically that you’re left with something that only shares the name and character names. Which isn the case with Dexter.

However, the original show was so damn good overall. The ending kinda sucked, but the rest was some damn good tv.

Part of that is because it was so different. I don’t think the books could have been brought to screen while staying true to them.

So, while I love the books, I can’t say they’re better, because they’re so different it’s a totally unique experience.

Lmao! Nice catch.

It’s is the same material

Well, good for her!

Also, daaaaaaaammmn!

Ikr? It’s so out of place as a response to the comment it’s under.

Yeah, I agree, soldier was a huge stumble lol.

I don’t know that I’d be as enthusiastic if this was him trying to make something like a period romance, or a serious drama. But just switching out a fantasy setting for the sci-fi type settings he usually does? It’s a good bet that it’ll at least be entertaining.

Exactly. There’s a lot to be said for movies that are just escapist entertainment, which is what the resident evil movies are. It’s a game series brought to the screen that you can slap on and see some cool stuff happening.

That’s a perfectly valid form of film. Lots of people like that kind of movie (including myself as long as that isn’t all I have to watch), and it’s popular for that very reason.

It’s exactly that kind of movie that he specializes in.

No worries :)

Mr Zuckerberg ought to have a meeting with Mr Lapua

Afaik, the standard orings are exactly the same material as in standard orings. Obviously, you can get stuff made of other materials, but your average black rubber oring isn the same material, no matter where you buy it. And I know for a fact that in the early days of body modification, when people were making their own plugs, they used orings from a hardware store. There weren’t any specialty ones at all.

Now, over the years, there arose more decorative options, which often required a change in materials. Can’t make glowy orings out of the same rubber, you dig? But the typical ones you find on mass produced plugs are ordered from the same places that the hardware store ones get made.

I’m not saying that all plug makers order from the same places, just that when you’re churning out thousands of plugs, you either make your own orings, or you’re ordering them from somewhere. When that somewhere is also mass producing their orings, you are going to end up ordering what they make unless you’re ordering enough to merit them setting up another production line for your needs.

Again, afaik, there isn’t a piercing specific oring maker that’s selling to plug makers. It’s all coming from the same suppliers in China for the most part.

The caveat: been over a decade since I was hanging out with people that were serious about body mods enough to be making their own stuff and ordering supplies in bulk. Shit could have changed since then. I doubt it, but if anyone that’s currently making plugs on a large scale says otherwise, they’d know better than I do.

Eh, kind of.

Truth be told, it’s a lot of fun even when you’ve got maybe two lines (hence the kinda lol).

The program I tried out was very relaxed. The lady in charge kept everything focused on doing a good show, with the players that were there. So even noobs, an experimenter like me that just wanted to try it once, and the ones there just to avoid boredom after their kids went to college all got to be active parts of the play.

But I’ve got friends from that, and some of the stories I’ve heard made me realize how lucky it was she was in charge.

If you show up prepared, do the work, and don’t do it half-assed, you’ll be fine though. Worst case, they don’t have anything for you to do on stage, so you end up in the crew helping out.

For me, it was all about trying something I’d never done before. The director knew that, and gave me a role fitting for that level of interest, then took me up on my willingness to play gofer and move heavy things. I had a ton of fun, and the show ended up well attended.

That’s essentially how I used fiction Facebook back when I still used it at all.

Didn’t accept friend requests if it wasn’t someone I actually wanted to maintain contact with, and would remove anyone that wasn’t in contact. Too damn much bullshit to sort through otherwise.