- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
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Sounds like pretty typical brain behaviour neurodivergent or not.
I could make that exact comment on every single post in here.
“I’m SPECIAL! I’m NEURODIVERGENT!”
<posts completely typical human behavior>
As always, yes, it can be similar. But the intensity and scale is in absolute overdrive.
Like comparing a paper cut to being slashed by a katana. Or something.
But how can you be sure? You are comparing your internal perception of the phenomenon that no one else but you can perceive to the internal perception of others that you cannot perceive.
Seems like it’s a matter of qualia, utterly subjective experience that is unshareable and thus incomparable between others.
Not every facet of ones existence must be somehow be different between neurotypical and neurodivergent.
You can’t, yet.
And that’s what makes it suck even more.
It’s like with all people you just needed to believe that their suffering is real until it was provable. They never got an apology to having to suffer through being blamed as faking illness. And yes, even if faked or just subjectively bad, what’s the point? Why should they make it up?
As an example: I was blamed by my neurologist of faking and whining and a mrt proved I have multiple sclerosis. Yay, I win… I guess??
The point being: this is /autism. If you’re going to blame, just leave. Even if not everything has to be about neurodivergence, here it is.
Apologies for reacting this pissed, but my (energy) spoons are all spent because it’s Friday and was hell of a week to cope but that’s probably also something everyone has to manage…
I don’t see my response as “blame”, it’s simply a statement that not every facet of your experience is necessarily unrelatable to others. This one is pretty innocuous, forgetting useful stuff for stuff that is emotionally impactful. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s just something that everyone experiences.
I’m not a huge fan of the concept of just letting people believe certain facets of their lives are differences when in fact it’s a place for common ground. I dislike that any time humans organize ourselves into groups, we fixate on how we can minimize what we have in common with people outside the group, and fail to recognize commonality.
Hm. I see where you’re coming from. Currently I am really oversensitive regarding this topic because it quickly slips into the ‘It’s not so bad’ and ‘just pull yourself together’ territory.
And to be fair, sometimes that is right. But in general it leads to masking, breakdowns and burnouts which I experienced.
Hence the sensitivity.
I think this possibly makes sense for a Spectrum in general. I would also never want people to treat me over sensitive, either, so there we go.
Being able to communicate was always a great thing.
That’s why I always flip my keys off and call them a motherfucker when I put them down somewhere.
Ok, not really. But the real story is negative enough that it probably qualifies. I locked myself out of my college apartment and had to wake the building manager up to get a spare key. She was super pissed and I really didn’t want to go back there to drop the key off. Later that morning I ran into her husband in my statics class and just handed him the key. “Hey, you’re already going back there so you should just take it now.”
He gave me the dirtiest look and a couple days later I saw him moving some boxes out of the apartment. I didn’t really process it until two weeks later, when I was out mountain biking with my Russian buddy and caught husband and another girl making out on the trail.
Yeah. Apparently she’d caught him cheating and I accidentally made him go back to her apartment and probably get screamed at more. I mean he deserved it, but I felt so awkward and weird about the while situation. So yeah, that was emotionally charged enough that I force myself to always know where my keys are.
Home wrecker!
I can’t remember anyone’s birthday or name, but I absorb random scientific information like a sponge.
In general, yes. I remember that research which showed autists do not forget negative experiences like neurotypicals do.
I wonder if that holds for childbirth despite the chemical cocktail that floods the brain to cause exactly that memory lapse…
What’s the part of my brain that can’t find something if I think it’s a different color than it actually is? Like, I know the shape, I know the size, but for some reason I am certain my daughter was using the orange sippy cup today. Can’t find where she left it for the life of me.
I suddenly remember it was actually the green one I filled today. And, yep, find it right away. It was literally right there. Why is it so important? Why do I have to know the color in the first place? Like if I was just looking for a cup of any color it would be just as difficult.
Its to the point where if I’m looking for something and start doubting the color it was, I’ll just make up a different color in my mind to see if that helps. No idea if this is autism related or just me.
Where did I put the tablet I had in my hand 3 minutes ago? No clue. Phone number to the store I bought some PC parts once in 1997? No problem.
Edit: store is long gone, building is long gone, I moved to a different continent twice, but this is clearly essential information.
I love food. I tend to remember things around food. If my wife is asking me about something, I usually ask what we were eating and that’s enough to jog my memory where I otherwise wouldn’t be able to recall.
I wish my memory was like that… the second half. My memory sometimes feels like it’s mostly the first half, sadly.
I’m somewhat similar, but I find that I have a tendency to remember interactions and conversations better than anything else regardless of emotionality, likely because of my chosen strategy when it comes to adapting new behaviors for social situations. I have a practice of, after any given interaction, doing a ‘post match review’ of sorts, assessing what was said, how I reacted/responded, how that was reacted/responded to by the other parties, etc. Once I’ve done that, I can then adapt new social behaviors for future use. It’s a weird sort of VOD review type thing which, frankly, sounds somewhat sociopathic when I put it in those terms 😭.
I definitely remember interactions like this post mentions better than your standard conversation, but I don’t think it’s as a consequence of the emotions themselves (at least, most of the time; breakup conversations definitely stick because of the emotions). Rather, I think it’s more that if an interaction is emotionally charged in the first place, I’ll generally review that more times or more in depth for ways to better handle the situation, regardless of if I’m trying to provide comfort or hit back at someone being a prick. Repetition makes something stick in my memory, and emotional situations simply get more screen time and re-runs.
That’s just me, though. Neurodivergence takes a plethora of forms, and none of my IRL friends with autism use this framework, so who knows lmao. It also carries some environmental hazards in that, if you aren’t able to stop yourself from spiraling, you can fall down a hole of fixating on social mistakes, so it’s certainly not ideal.
