Ace and demi men are out there, but I won’t pretend they are easy to find. I’m demi and looking for someone else on the ace spectrum pretty much eliminated the idea of meeting someone out in the world and locked me in to finding someone online. Back when OKCupid was data driven it was the best way to find other aces and demis but I don’t know the current state of it. There’s not much visibility for aces so a lot of people don’t know to identify themselves as such.

I dated a variety of people but always came back to people who were ace/demi having the most potential for long term companionship. It just simplified everything, removed the tension, and potential for hurt feelings. Allosexuals might think they can manage a situation like you’re describing but in the long term might end up feeling frustrated and sad about not being desired. It was always worth the search when I did find other aces.