Becoming able to be OK - like really OK - on my own for days and days without interacting with any other people helped with this one. I didn’t used to like it but now I can’t get enough alone time - though I have children so it’s basically impossible for now.
Anyway at some point I realised I didn’t give a fuck if someone likes me or not because I’m completely happy on my own for extended periods of time, just being me. If someone doesn’t like me it’s their loss… and sometimes to my benefit anyway because who wants to hang out with a flimsy friend? Go deep or go home, I’m happy on my own so whatever!
I have actually fired some former friends when it became apparent we would be better not hanging out. Make sure you aren’t just hanging out with crappy people? They will drag you down.
I definitely wasn’t like this before approaching my 40s (now in my mid 40s) and was highly rejection sensitive and “nice” to everyone at least as far as 37.
Fuck being a people-pleaser!
Another hardcore way to get to this (being OK alone, thus not caring what others think of you, thus getting over much rejection sensitivity) is to go on a vipassana meditation retreat. 10 days silence, no eye contact, no physical contact etc… it’s about as alone as you can be while not actually being alone. It is both tortuous and amazing. It’s also free your first time, food and bed and everything, not a penny. I’ve only been once, might go again one day but not in a hurry. You will experience all of your unresolved bullshit and there’s nothing to do about it except experience it. Anyway… it shifted a lot for me in a comparatively short time. I realised I was just as fucked up and OK as everyone else sat there, for days until it sank in. That’s not even the purpose of it but just a side effect.
I still smoke weed though… not into “enlightenment” haha except to know there’s no such arrival place, just more of the same. “Meditation people” tend to bore me and I don’t trust people without some obvious vice because it often tends to come out as nastiness if they’re not onto it.
Anyway, I’m not at.all who you’d imagine as the kind of person who goes on a meditation retreat but it was a very pivotal experience for me even though I haven’t kept up a regular practice.
I hope you find some relief from RSD, it is an exquisitely painful thing to experience.
yeah i try to approach life that way but sometimes RSD is too fast for me to react. before i’m capable of logicking my way out of rejection - it hits, and the spiral begins, and that feeling of sinking in my chest is a point of no return. the only way to stop it is to go sleep for 8h to “reset”.
even if i know that what i’m feeling is fully irrational, the spiral seems to be inescapable
hi there, RSD (and anxiety because of it) haver here
how do i not care
Depresion.
Step 1: smoke lots of weed
doesn’t work :( i care about people even more then, and my sensitivity gets more sensitive
Becoming able to be OK - like really OK - on my own for days and days without interacting with any other people helped with this one. I didn’t used to like it but now I can’t get enough alone time - though I have children so it’s basically impossible for now.
Anyway at some point I realised I didn’t give a fuck if someone likes me or not because I’m completely happy on my own for extended periods of time, just being me. If someone doesn’t like me it’s their loss… and sometimes to my benefit anyway because who wants to hang out with a flimsy friend? Go deep or go home, I’m happy on my own so whatever!
I have actually fired some former friends when it became apparent we would be better not hanging out. Make sure you aren’t just hanging out with crappy people? They will drag you down.
I definitely wasn’t like this before approaching my 40s (now in my mid 40s) and was highly rejection sensitive and “nice” to everyone at least as far as 37.
Fuck being a people-pleaser!
Another hardcore way to get to this (being OK alone, thus not caring what others think of you, thus getting over much rejection sensitivity) is to go on a vipassana meditation retreat. 10 days silence, no eye contact, no physical contact etc… it’s about as alone as you can be while not actually being alone. It is both tortuous and amazing. It’s also free your first time, food and bed and everything, not a penny. I’ve only been once, might go again one day but not in a hurry. You will experience all of your unresolved bullshit and there’s nothing to do about it except experience it. Anyway… it shifted a lot for me in a comparatively short time. I realised I was just as fucked up and OK as everyone else sat there, for days until it sank in. That’s not even the purpose of it but just a side effect.
I still smoke weed though… not into “enlightenment” haha except to know there’s no such arrival place, just more of the same. “Meditation people” tend to bore me and I don’t trust people without some obvious vice because it often tends to come out as nastiness if they’re not onto it.
Anyway, I’m not at.all who you’d imagine as the kind of person who goes on a meditation retreat but it was a very pivotal experience for me even though I haven’t kept up a regular practice.
I hope you find some relief from RSD, it is an exquisitely painful thing to experience.
yeah i try to approach life that way but sometimes RSD is too fast for me to react. before i’m capable of logicking my way out of rejection - it hits, and the spiral begins, and that feeling of sinking in my chest is a point of no return. the only way to stop it is to go sleep for 8h to “reset”.
even if i know that what i’m feeling is fully irrational, the spiral seems to be inescapable