Leaving my therapist last session she told me I should look into what a “low demand lifestyle” was. My first thought was “f u, no???” and my second thought was “okay but how do I actually incorporate these things?”

I would be grateful to hear how folks of all support need levels have incorporated this concept into their lives.

In my particular situation I have a huge amount of autonomy in my life so most of my struggles are from self demands. It’s a lot easier for me to act on demands from others (so long as I agree they are good demands, things that make sense or that I don’t really care about but care about the person asking so I can do it without too much resistance).

  • CoffeeTails@lemmy.worldEnglish
    14·
    3 days ago

    I dunno if I have a ‘low demand lifestyle’ but some things I do or think about that makes things easier:

    • I have alarm for when it’s time to make lunch and dinner, which helps me relax or focus.
    • I have an alarm for when it’s time to go to bed. Not necessarily sleep, but I use that time to wind down.
    • I plan my days roughly in a calendar; sleep, lunch, dinner, gym time. How detailed I am depends on how integrated it is into my routine. When going to the gym, I don’t plan the time to walk there and home. But if I’m going on a family trip, I like to plan out in more detail.
    • Routines and habits are more about doing things in the same order rather than the exact time every day.
    • I order groceries every other week to the door. I still go to the grocery store 1-2 times a week tho but that’s mostly for veggies or stuff I forgot to order.
    • If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing halfway.*
    • Actually use things that help me, like nose-canceling headphones and stimming toys.
    • We live in an apartment complex with shared laundry room, so I try my best to book laundry same day every week, that way I don’t need to remember as hard as I have a laundry-day.
    • I go to the gym on the same days every week as well. Those are my gym-days.
    • We eat roughly the same things every day/week, I don’t like to plan my meals too much and prefer to just wing it. I build meals by deciding on: a protein, some veggies, a starch (aka. pasta, rice or potatoes). I make we eat veggies at least once a day and preferably more than just some chopped onion.
    • Only wear comfy clothes. I absolutely refuse to wear anything that is uncomfortable in any way. It takes way to much energy.
    • Make cleaning easier. You don’t need a special cleaning bottle for every area, with a special tool and everything color-coded etc. **
    • I try to do some kitchen-cleaning every evening before bed. It has become a part of my going-to-bed routine. I also prep the coffee maker. If I’m going somewhere I prepare clothes for the next day, prepare breakfast and just as much as I can to make the morning easier.

    –

    • Example: Say you need to do the dishes, but you only have energy for half of the dishes. If you only want to do everything or nothing. You’ll have to wait… while more dishes pile up. Needing more and more energy to do them all. In the end you are forced to use a lot more energy than you have to clean them all.

    If you instead think it’s worth doing halfway, sure your kitchen might rarely be ✨Sparkling Clean✨ but your mental health and energy levels will be SO much better.

    –

    ** All you really need for cleaning your home:

    • Bottle of all-cleaner, for most areas. Floors, dusting etc.
    • I like to use dish-washing soap to clean the kitchen area, it’s good at removing fats and safe if you accidentally don’t rinse properly.
    • A bad-ass oven cleaner, so you don’t have to scrub for eternity!
    • Toilet cleaner, for the bowl. You can use all-cleaner for the rest of the toilet.
    • Window / glass cleaner. Although, if you have good micro cloths you don’t even need that.
    • A chalk-remover that you use when you get buildup from the water.

    Tools:

    • Micro-fiber cloths. There are different types and qualities.

      • Smooth ones are good for glass and other shiny surfaces.
      • Fluffy ones are good for all other areas, especially dusty or if it’s many germs as they “catch” the germs.

    • I like to use dish-washing tools to clean the kitchen. ( I kinda have a lot woops )

      • Sponge-cloth, a thin square “cloth” made from sponge, super absorbent and washable.
      • Dish brush and/or sponge (non-scraching) and/or sponge with handle
      • Fine soapy steel wool for those impossible spots

    • Vacuum-cleaner (get one of those quiet ones, I can watch tv while using it, they are amazing.

    • mop and bucket (not those flat ones)

    • Nice to have

      • “spot eraser” sponge, a white, dense sponge, great for removing spots on handles, light switches etc.
      • “Edge brush”, like this: https://www.stadbutiken.se/sv/artiklar/smartbrush-komplett.html but you can also repurpose an old toothbrush.
      • A broom-set, especially if you have pets or often get dirt on the floor so you don’t have to pull out your vacuum cleaner all the time.
      • A rubber-broom to clean carpets with, especially if you have pets.
      • If you want to be fancy you can skip the vacuum-cleaner and mop if you replace them with proper cleaning mop that cleaning-companies use, like this: https://www.stadbutiken.se/sv/artiklar/swep-extramopp-50cm-rod.html but they are expensive.

    –

    Well that turned into a wall of text. Woops.

    • Digit@lemmy.wtfEnglish
      2·
      2 days ago

      Different strokes for different folks.

      Glad that’s working for you.

      All those alarms and plans (and (perhaps also) the routines) would increase demand to me, causing a neuro traffic jam, grinding me to a halt in stress.

      • CoffeeTails@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        2 days ago

        But the thing is, we all have routines as far as I know. Like what order we but on our clothes, or if we brush our teeth before or after that etc. All those things are routines. It doesn’t mean I have lists and steps for everything. It’s more that I block out rough time frames. Like, making and eating dinner usually takes around 1h 45min, so I plan for 2h to have some wiggle-room. Then I can move it around as much as I like, when needed. No problem. It’s also a gradual thing. I didn’t start with everything :)

        But yeah, a few years ago, this would have felt super stressful for me too !

        • Digit@lemmy.wtfEnglish
          3·
          2 days ago

          we all have routines

          Yep. I was long time seeing advice from Ayurveda that, for my vata dosha, routines would really do me good, and I’d recoil from that, seeing routines only as those imposed (as demands) on me. Little did I realise I had indeed formed many routines of my own. (Hence why that was in brackets with a “perhaps”).

          a few years ago, this would have felt super stressful for me too

          I’m still mid-transition to accepting it. :) Making progress. Eliminating that stressor born of that conflation and negativity tainted perception.

    • Arcanepotato@crazypeople.onlineOPEnglish
      2·
      3 days ago

      This is such a helpful comment, thank you!

      I’m going to add a few things here that I do a little differently just in case it is helpful to others who stumble across this thread, not to disagree with what you are sharing:

      • eating the same things every day/week - like you mention it’s not exactly the same things but a collection of options. It saves me from getting too bored. I’ll make a big thing of beans/tofu/other legumes and rice and add a veggie to it each day, and try different sauces to jazz it up. I truly don’t understand how people make a whole dinner every day (my brother is like, it’s only 40 mins a day??? - sir I need to eat now lol)

      • comfy clothes 💕💕💕I have a bare minimum standard of “office” clothes I maintain but they are typically jeans and a non-tshirt top. No “outfits” just things that work together . I change out of outdoor clothes (pants with waistbands/buttons, shirts that require me to sit a certain way to not expose cleave or midsection, and supportive undergarments) the moment I get home. Fuck having to position my body a certain way.

      • I do keep “special” cleaning supplies in different areas. That way if I feel moved to clean I don’t need to find the stuff. It’s not so much different things but duplicates of common items like all purpose cleaner, brooms, mops. I have a two level home and this really helps.

      • CoffeeTails@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        3 days ago

        Well, thank YOU! :)

        Yes, to keep things where they are used makes it sooo much easier.

        I also forgot to mention that I use Swiffers for dusting shelfs and stuff. Might not be the most effective, but they are good enough and makes dusting a lot easier