So I have a style of comedic timing, that can basically be described as “Angry old man rants, while making culturally relevant references”.
And part of my whole bit, is I’ll list 3 things that are wrong in society that should make you angry/depressed, but because I’m ranting about them I’m making them into a joke. The joke being that I’m saying things that are true, I’m just saying them really really loudly.
5 years ago, I made the 3rd one into “And California can best be described as CURRENTLY ON FIRE!!!”
At the time, there was a wildfire. I figured, I better get in on that before they put the fire out. Not like it’s going to be funny anymore in 3 months, right?
Well…it seems like I’ve not had to replace that line anytime I do one of my rants. It’s been 5 years, and it seems like every few months there’s ALWAYS another news story about California battling some raging inferno.
The original line was “And Australia can best be described as CURRENTLY ON FIRE”, but that cultural reference came and went pretty quickly. Today most people don’t even remember that some ridiculous amount like 70% of Australia inhabited areas were at one time engulfed in 30 foot tall fires in 2019.
But whereas Australia had a disaster, and an emergency situation, they did put it out. They put out the flames, and I assume they’ll be rebuilding for decades. New Orleans still to this day is rebuilding after Hurricane Katrina in 2004.
But, the point is, Australia has moved past their calamity. California it seems like it’s never ending. They put out THIS fire, and then there’s THAT fire a few months later. Then they put out THAT fire, but there’s ANOTHER FIRE sometime later. Repeat and repeat and repeat.
Should we be worried that California seems to basically be an infinite tinderbox just waiting for a spark? I mean, I still get upvotes when I poke fun of all the chaos and destruction, but at this point it’s starting to feel like making fun of the slow kid in class who eats glue.
Do you think it’s California’s fault that it’s subject to so many fires with the worsening climate?
Partially, yes. They allow Nestle to absorb a HUGE amount of their rationed water supply. Nestle doesn’t need to exist in California. It can exist in literally ANY state, most of which have no water shortages.
I’m not saying it’s an instant fix. I’m not saying boot Nestle and you’ll not have fires. But what I am saying is they’d have a more efficient firefighting crew if they didn’t have to worry about water shortages as much.
Another thing they just straight up shouldn’t allow is grass lawns in the part of California where the grass doesn’t naturally grow. There as some people, basically living in a desert, who import grass and use their rationing of water to maintain their unnatural grass lawn. And this isn’t the same as having a grass lawn that’s a little dry so you give it extra water. This is grass that just isn’t supposed to grow there, and CAN’T grow there…so they artificially enhance it’s ability to grow. If you’re grass can’t maintain itself using mostly just rain water, then it’s not in an environment where it should be living. That’s just depleting the already limited water rations. You don’t see Nevada trying to pretend they live in Michigan.
Not to mention PG&E causing 1500 fires in 6 years.
Why not?
The main reason for the fires in Australia were eucalyptus trees, they’re extremely flammable. Eucalyptus trees are foreign to California. They were brought over by Australians. The fires aren’t California’s fault.
Why does this read as passively blaming Australians for modern day California wildfires?? Also fyi (it’s a paragraph or two so I’ll put it in a spoiler) it was and still is a California problem.
Tap for spoiler
The eucalyptus goes to California: Following its spread throughout Europe, northern Africa, India, and South America, settlers in California became increasingly interested in the eucalyptus. Not only was eucalyptus a fascinating novelty, but the California Gold Rush of the late 1840s and early 1850s created high demand for wood for constructing buildings and for fuel. Deforestation had become a serious concern, so much so that the California Tree Culture Act of 1868 was created to encourage people to plant more trees, particularly along roads. Many entrepreneurs rushed to capitalize on the situation.
Ellwood Cooper’s role in spreading eucalyptus: Ellwood Cooper, educator, entrepreneur, and one of the key individuals who helped the eucalyptus take off in California, is a local legend here in Santa Barbara
I have never been there, so forgive my ignorance… Are these the only things in California that are extremely flammable?
No, houses are flammable too. They’re surrounded by invasive and extremely flammable eucalyptus trees.
