Clarification: I’m not a native English speaker. I’ve been gaming online for the past ~15-20 years, and it feels like there has been an increase in this kind of response in the past few years. Now, I know that it’s not always serious: people started using it as ‘no way’ or meaning ‘wow, serious?’ recently.
BUT what has taken me aback is the frequency at which I’ve been seeing ‘stfu’ as a response to something I either meant seriously, or maybe said it in a light-hearted manner, but not necessarily as a joke - often as a first exchange. To me it still literally means Shut The Fuck Up, and whenever I see it, my immediate reaction is that the person on the other end actually meant it exactly as rude as I have always perceived it all my life.
Would you not take this as an offense, provided it’s the first interaction between you and a completely random person? Would you immediately feel they are rude, neutral or straight out saying it very lightly? Is the usage really changing? Do you think they actually mean ‘shut up’, and they just add the ‘f’ because everyone else does it?
EDIT: Wow, thanks a lot for your angles! I forgot to mention, but let’s assume that ‘stfu’ is the first and only response you see from this random person. I am also fine with dealing with different situations, I’m not primarily looking for advice (After ~20 years of online gaming experience, I can tell you I’ve seen most of it); I am mostly interested in your perspective: what vibe would you assume, based on only these four letters?
There are two kinds of stfu, the serious “fuck you” kind and the “no way that’s real” kind. Not sure if the second type is still ‘cool’ to use.
I had the feeling - but, considering the above, which one would you think of when setting this from someone as the first reaction?
I think we’d need to know the complete context to judge.
I could say someone like, “my doctor says I’ve got stage 4 cancer”, and a friend’s reaction might be STFU, and that could be totally reasonable.
The only way it’s unreasonable is if the intent is to tell you to actually stop talking.
While I was thinking of something similar, it’s important that in this particular case we’re talking about a conversation with a stranger, and not about breaking news. Now, I get that it all depends - what I’m curious about is your assumption of the situation’s vibe.
I think it still depends on the intent and the setting.
If the intent is to end the conversation, then it’s very rude. If it is just being used as an exclamation, then it wouldn’t bother me in a casual setting.
In a chat during an online game as an exclamation: no big deal.
In a response to a personal story shared during a church service: not a good look.
I’m the f adding type, so from my pov, it’s usually the second type unless the person distinguishes themselves as an asshat.