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Cake day: July 22nd, 2023

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  • lath@lemmy.worldtoADHD@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    10 days ago

    These are tiny, day-to-day things many couples fight over. It’s quirks and characteristics that are learned about each other over a long period of time.

    Yes, you should keep in mind your partner’s needs and they should reciprocate. Having eyes for each other also means noticing and keeping track of the little things that keep repeating and establish a pattern.

    Whether one keeps track of things for the both of you or you each keep track in different ways, the point is that both of you bring something that makes up for what the other lacks.

    A long term relationship requires reasonable compromises that the participants can grow to be comfortable with. That doesn’t mean there won’t be arguments, because as individuals you will occasionally feel the need to refresh your individualism. But for every win there will need to be a smaller, if not equal concession in another way to maintain the veneer of equality.

    Long story short, it’s good when you’re communicating. Argue, make up, talk and cuddle… it will go on as long as you want it to go.






  • Using the imaginary setting I’ve created in my mind based on the information presented in your comment, I’d say the invitation has two main support beams holding it up, eventual marriage and becoming a doctor.

    This would be an investment into your future as a couple and their possible grandchildren. So my advice would be to not take it for granted.

    The pressure to perform well in both professional pursuits and familial has broken many. And the closer you’ll get to a deadline, the higher the tension you’ll suffer. As such, the support has to be mutual.

    If you go in, go in as a family member. Participate, help out. Do not detach from them. This will help redistribute the mounting pressure.

    If you stay out, do not isolate yourself. You’ll end up dumping your frustrations on your partner and spiral downward towards self-defeat.

    The years ahead will be quite complicated. But if you stay true to your passion, something will come out of it even if it won’t be what you expect.

    Good luck, regardless of your choice.