That’s the post. I had only dated bisexual men before and it was kinda nice to know that a person that really only finds women attractive finds me attractive. Chime in if you want to share similar moments.
That’s the post. I had only dated bisexual men before and it was kinda nice to know that a person that really only finds women attractive finds me attractive. Chime in if you want to share similar moments.
I’m not disagreeing with anything you’re saying, I just want to clarify, because I think we’re talking past each other. I tried my best to express that systemic issues are indeed far greater and not comparable to these interpersonal ones. The point I was making, was that dismissing their notion outright as some false flag operation is hurtful and only deepens the actual systemic issues by alienating potential allies.
To explain why this dismissal matters, I will elaborate on my personal experience. This will be long and messy. If after this you’re still just restating the same point we both agree on, then it’s probably best to leave it there.
Being bullied for being “girly” and “gay” was the least of my issues, I could have kept living in my assigned role, even if unhappy. My real issue was me developing a seething pathological hatred for men. Society treated me like a threat by default, because of my assigned gender, and eventually I started believing it. That I was a literal monster, that it wasn’t just some expectation, that there was something fundamentally wrong with me, something seriously broken in my head, simply for being born male. I was never misogynist, in fact I always looked up to women. And yet, this belief of inherent wrongness, was my hook into the right wing. Teen me didn’t believe in trans rights, because he believed all “males” must suffer. He didn’t help anyone suffering from injustice, because he believed he was so exceptionally wrong, that self erasure was the best possible outcome. He believed in a strict hierarchy where his mere existence was a death sentence. He was a hateful bigot that celebrated cruelty. He became a part of the problem he hated so much. And all that could have been prevented if only a single person didn’t dismiss him. That was all it took to eventually heal me, one person showing compassion.
I sadly can’t say anything about racism, as that is simply not an area I have experience with, living in an extremely mono ethnic country (ofc as you mentioned, my ancestors might have a clue why that is). But it’s not hard to imagine someone developing similar beliefs when taught from a young age that some people are predisposed to hurt the things they care for.
personal prejudice isnt misandry, as i already explained, and all misogyny (and “misandry”/lack thereof) is inherently systemic
if you want to say “misandry is real because i disliked men because of <internalized transphobia> and <gender dysphoria> and <toxic masculinity (misogyny)>” and push back because you looked the word up in the dictionary, then be my guest. ive said everything that is worth saying on this topic, and frankly have more important things to do than pointlessly argue on the internet.
“not all men”, defender of the defended, voice of the voiceful, protector of the protected, “actually cracker is a slur!!” and so on. i hope the boot is worth it, do better.
“you being more offended by the mere implication that some of your peers can be bad than by the harm that they actually cause makes you part of the problem”