That’s the post. I had only dated bisexual men before and it was kinda nice to know that a person that really only finds women attractive finds me attractive. Chime in if you want to share similar moments.
Type shit
Heeell yea :3
🥵
That’s awesome! I “dated” a straight guy once, meaning I stopped by to give him a blowjob. I personally like the vibes of gay guys and would consider appealing to androsexuals as a fem a victory, as that would mean my appeal transcends appearance and gender.
wouldn’t being appealing to a gay man be invalidating, since it just shows they are attracted to you as a male?
If they’re attracted to me as nonbinary would be almost as validating as attraction to me as a woman. People who call themselves gay or straight seldom adhere completely to their orientations. Today I became friends with another transgirl, one far prettier than I am, and I would fill any gender role to be with someone like her, and I have compromised my gender by butching it up before, and it was a worthy sacrifice. My desire is greater than my self-respect.
How’d it go on your end? Do you like him? Going on a second?
I quite liked him! Otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten to the cuddling part on the first date, haha. I try to not date cis men these days but he got through, somehow. We had a good conversation on a dating app (tinder of all places, lol) and the date was great. He’s smart, considerate, has a very interesting job (he invents and sells game show concepts, quite successfully) and did not ask or talk about me being trans at all. He has lots of friends and is just looking for someone to do couple coded things like cuddling and short romantic trips with, which is exactly what I’m looking for as well. He’s also not strictly monogamous which I consider a plus because I don’t think I want a strictly monogamous romantic relationship right now. We had some wine in a very classy bar (his treat) and I invited him to my place because I felt like some warmth. He recognised the pictures of Grace Kelly and Liz Taylor on my wall, which I thought was very cool.
The only negative really is that I think he’s not that attractive physically, sadly. But everything else is a great fit so I’ll see where it goes or if I lose interest. There’ll definitely be a second date! If he doesn’t ghost me, which has happened before after great dates lol, but that’s just online dating.
and did not ask or talk about me being trans at all.
it’s not my business, but does he know you’re trans? If you’re just going on the assumption that “everyone can tell”, just know that sometimes people indeed do not realize (even if you think it’s blindingly obvious), and unless you have explicitly disclosed your trans status, he may not be aware.
(Not to add stress or anything - so glad you had a lovely date, you go girl!)
Yeah he knows, it’s in my profile and I’ve offhandedly mentioned it once or twice. He just doesn’t care which is great for a change. I think it’d make me nervous and uncomfortable to not disclose that beforehand.
Nice that y’all are on the same page for many issues. Most shocking thing for me is hearing folks are still using
TwitterTinder for serious dating in 2025! It’s not just for nsa hooking up? 😄*Tinder
🤦♀️ dumb brain fart 🥴
Easy mistake to make 😅
I feel like it’s had kind of a renaissance, at least around people I know. I know several people who have found their long-term partner there in the last two years. I think it might just be that there’s still just the biggest user base there. But yeah, most people there aren’t what I’m looking for, haha. I’d say I swipe right on maybe 2% of profiles.
Men get erections due to emotional excitement; not necessarily sexual arousal.
I cannot wrap my head around where this was coming from or how you could possibly believe this was supportive. She made a post about a validating experience with a date, and you immediately thought to counter her validation? How tf is that supportive
misogyny, the usual
then she was emotionally stimulating as a woman which is still affirming.
Yeah?.. That’s what I was saying lol
It’s something that you would not have thought, let alone said, if a cis woman had talked about enjoying her date having an erection when they hugged. Your comment served no point except to diminish the positivity that a trans person was feeling after a positive dating experience. If you read the sidebar, this particular community is “a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people”
Nothing you said was supportive, and this community is not the place for it.
Thanks, Ada.
It’s something that you would not have thought, let alone said, if a cis woman had talked about enjoying her date having an erection when they hugged.
Oh no I absolutely would have thought the same way
Your comment served no point except to diminish the positivity that a trans person was feeling after a positive dating experience.
It actually wasn’t my point but fair.
Speakthink before Ithinkspeak I guess.
difficult to tell intent! no worries haha. sorry if that came off too snippy.
If that’s true… wouldn’t OP know this though? Why would you say this?
And don’t forget, transgirl boners only come from true love
Why would you write this
Its kind of rude to assume that an erection is due to sexual arousal. Men used to get bullied all the time due to this. Edit: and it’s really only stopped because men’s pants have been engineered in latest decades to help hide erections.
Why would you assume I wasn’t being supportive??
Ok, that makes more sense, but I don’t see that assumption in the original post. The word “attractive” has no inherent sexual meaning. That’s why people usually say “sexually attractive” or use a different world like “hot”.
If I may offer a suggestion for the future, try to think if your comment might need context. Your original comment has nothing, leaving it to the reader to interpret the meaning. And nobody is going to assume that you’re referencing a different issue if you don’t explicitly state it. Leading to the only reasonable assumption of it deconstructing the original post.
regardless, isn’t it weird to doubt the reason’s for someone’s erection when the reasons are being celebrated by OP? Like, if someone feels affirmed and happy about something, why suddenly apply skepticism towards it - even when warranted it’s still rude, and in this case it doesn’t actually seem that likely that an erection was due to “emotional excitement” …
That’s the thing about trans women, you can’t gaslight them about what it was like living as a boy or man, they also had involuntary erections and know what that’s like. When cuddling on a date, an erection is probably related to attraction … this doesn’t really need to be litigated (and if there is still a desire to litigate that and raise the nuances of why erections come about, it’s still basic politeness to recognize this isn’t the appropriate moment to do that in).
Trans people feel enough insecurity, tbh.
next ur gonna say misandry is real and black people can be racist towards white people lol
shut the fuck up honestly
Wait but… misandry is real and black people can be racist towards white people. Maybe you mistyped or something idk. Anyone can be a bigot.
misandry isnt real its a silencing tactic
reverse racism isnt real, its a silencing tactic
there is no structural, societal misandry ever-present, oppressing men
there is no structural, societal racism ever-present, oppressing white people
racism, like misogyny, is a structural and systemic hate leveraged against people, not a personal one
when men receive lower salaries than women, have lower rights than women, have their bodies policed like women, are treated like objects and property like women then we can say it is real
Downvoted because while it is correct, what you said, it is completely wrong to think that on an individual level persons cannot be misandric or racist to white people.
I get your point, but your original comment didn’t specify “societal” or “structural.” Of course there’s no systemic misandry or “reverse racism”, and the issues you mentioned are far more serious, by several orders of magnitude. Still, misandry does exist on an interpersonal level, and it affects real people. Dismissing it outright feels insensitive, even if it’s not comparable in scale or impact.
For example, toxic masculinity harms women much more deeply, but it also harms men. Acknowledging that helps men see that they don’t have to conform to abusive or repressive norms to be accepted. Rejecting that nuance risks alienating people who might otherwise support feminist goals.
I was in that position once. In my teens, internalized misandry kept me stuck in the right-wing pipeline and made transitioning an absolute impossibility. I used to be an enabler, I’m ashamed of my past, almost as much as teen me was ashamed of existing. But it is real and could have been prevented.
toxic masculinity is misogyny
men not being able to act a certain way because its associated with womans qualities and thus forcing them to not express emotions and be violent and controlling or otherwise theyre seen as weak for being “like a woman” is misogyny
men confessing their troubles is seen as effeminate because these are “woman” qualities, youre not “weak” and “emotional” like a woman. this is also misogyny
being shamed and repressed for having qualities that are perceived as feminine is misogyny. youre not being shamed for being a man youre being shamed for acting like a woman
the supposed existence of “reverse racism” ignores the inherent power/privilege dynamic that permeates our society, and acts like racism is on an even playing field, when its not. if a black person calls you a cracker, thats not being racist, its a reaction to the racism they have faced from white people throughout their entire lives, and their parents lives, and their parents lives, etc.
come back when they oppress your way of life, when they fire you from a job because the color of your skin. when they deny you healthcare, or genocide you because the color of your skin. when they throw you in jail with laws they created, and force you to do slave labour for years
you are confusing personal prejudice caused by systemic oppression with systemic oppression. personal prejudice is inherently not racism because there is no system of oppression against white people, and all racism is systemic.
That’s not exactly true, an erection can also just be a response to stimulus. Men can achieve erections while being completely unconscious.
Men achieve erections while unconscious regularly. Its part of the sleep cycle. Regular maintainace, keeps things functional for when needed. That’s why morning wood is a thing.
HRT stopped this for me, which is wonderful. Having a massive erection ruins a girl’s day right from the very beginning.
Unless the erection is on someone else. 🧐
Emotions still exist when unconscious. It’s just the brain’s prediction algorithm
Men also get erections when tired. What does that say, oh wise one?
Who told you this and why did you believe them?
