cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/40397983
We all make jokes that don’t land, but sometimes we make jokes that should’ve been funny if anyone understood it.
Maybe it was too subtle, or too nuanced like a joke based off work-jargon.
Whatever it was, what joke did you say that should’ve had people in stitches but… didn’t land?
Now is your time!
My cousin was starting driving lessons and asked me if I know any material to know more about cars in general (I don’t know how to drive neither much into cars and she knows that). I suggested to watch Cars documentary on Disney which was so successful that they created 2 sequels
I made a joke about a roof, but it was over everyone’s heads.
It was a rooster! Get it?! A rooster!! (uncontrollable laughter sets in).
I live nearish to a military base so a lot of local businesses have a military/veteran discount.
At the store I buy dog food at, the staff are so tired of asking about it that they have shortened “are you a member of the military?” to “any military?”
After I noticed it a few times that every single employee in the store shortened it that way, I started answering “there is one, but I’m not in it.”
Loooots of blank stares. I stopped since apparently nobody gets it or they don’t think it’s funny. I think it’s the former but idk 🤷
They’re retail employees. They don’t think it’s funny because they’ve likely heard it from a hundred other people.
I make 3d models for 3d printing. Usually cute shit.
I made these little “snow baby” decorations. And I took a photo of them.
One is holding a brick that says “to ices” on it. The other is holding a Molotov cocktail. Literally no one. Not a single one of my friends who knows I would 100% pull this, has noticed.Not a single one.
I posted it twice just to try to get people to look at it again .
Here you are.
It’s not very funny if I have to tell people, you know?
This happened about 16 years ago.
One of my buddies is a semi well-known photographer who was editing some photographs on his laptop while he was over at my place. One of the pictures he was editing showed the feet/toes of one of his subjects prominently, not the focus of the shot but they were easily visible. I knew he was going to post the picture to his socials once he was done as he did that for most of his shoots for marketing purposes so I joked, “I wonder if anyone would notice if you were to add an extra toe to that persons foot.”
So he photoshopped an extra toe onto one of the subjects feet and posted it. There were many comments about the photo but no one has ever pointed out the sixth toe on the most forward foot of the subject.
Every few years I check-in on that photo to see if anyone has said anything yet about it, still nothing. I do like/thumbs up that photo each time and then wait a week to remove my like/thumbs-up as an inside joke so he gets the notification from me on that photo as a notice that I am still keeping tabs on the outcome of my suggested joke.
In response he does the same thing to a very old profile photo of myself that I hate on an old social account I no longer use but check in with every couple years.
Him and I only get to catch up every several years when our paths cross but we communicate more through that thumbs/liking joke on those two photos more often, which is kinda fun.
why ICES?
It’s a reference to ISIS. To connect ice to ISIS.
One time, I had to have IV antibiotics for a dental infection, which meant having to be at the hospital for like a half hour every four hours, which sucked. After a couple days of this, praying to get switched to tablets, a doc finally saw me.
He walks into the room where I was waiting and the first thing he said was, “so, how about we try oral?”, and I was like, “slow down, doc, I just met you.” 😂
Swear to god, it did mot register whatsoever that I had made a joke. He responded like I had said slow down the switch to oral medication! I guess maybe he could have just been embarrassed and was trying to duck the moment, but idk. I thought it was a solid joke.
That doctor is an imbecile. That was funny.
One of my favorites, and my BF didn’t get it D:
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says “why the long face? Are you depressed?”
The horse replies “I don’t think I am”
At which point, the horse promptly disappears.
Now, if you’re at all familiar with the works of Rene Descartes, you’re likely chuckling at this point, knowing his famous quote “I think, therefore I am”
But to tell you that first would have been to put Descartes before the horse.
That’s clever.
hehehehe
Not specifically a joke, but more intended to make thought processes skip a little and to amuse:
My friend: “Didn’t they teach you grammar at school?”
Me: “no, she didn’t go there.”
–
…and, if anyone ever tells me to check my pronunciation, I snap back quickly and say it should be pronOUNCEiation, while acting as serious as possible.
–
In around 20 years I have gotten about 30 blank stares and one giggle, once. It was completely worth it.
At one of the no kings rallies, I feel something hit me in the back. Turn around to see a small girl running over to get the large Styrofoam sign that the wind had blown out of her hands.
She looks up saying “I’m sorry!”.
“It’s ok, I’m not a space shuttle, I can survive being hit by a foam block”.
Crickets.
In 7th grade, my class was doing an exercise in which you describe yourself using a list of adjectives starting with each letter in your name. My last name ends in the letter H, so I described myself with 11 grandiose adjectives, followed by “and most of all: Humble.” I didn’t get a single laugh, so I just ended up sounding like a narcissist
Working in the OR. Anesthesiologist draws up some fentanyl, and I asked him if it was enriched. He looked at me like I’m a dumbass and asked “with what?”
-_-
Short version was getting a remote control vibrator for my dog but that’s only because the fancy corection collars with them built in are so expensive
