i really like a fictional character so much it hurts and i have this friend who i make stories with with that character and she’s the only one who likes him as much, probably more than me. i don’t want to be that way.
I watched this video essay on this topic not too long ago that I really enjoyed (one of the best video essays I’ve seen so far imo) that I think you might find really helpful and insightful as well! If you end up watching it, let me know what you think: https://youtu.be/4d0Q64SQujY
Maybe it’s just a phase? It could be harmless if it’s not getting in the way of your responsibilities and relationships.
I’m tempted to ask how old you are, but that’s not really something you need to share. But if you are young, I’m even more confident it’s a phase.
So you mean if I’m old, it’s not a phase, and I’m now cursed for life? Fuck…
Everything is a phase, especially getting obsessed with a fictional character, unless you develop some kind of crazy strong lifelong obsession, which is unlikely.
If you’re young, phases last shorter.
If you’re an adult, you likely have experienced these kind of passionate obsessions and moved on so getting obsessed with something like this might last a little bit longer but it’ll still pass.
If it bothers you too much, avoid engaging with it. Avoid your friend who will fuel the obsession more. Etc.
Maybe it’s just that your really like said friend and so you find yourself obsesssing over what you have in common with her?
Fictional characters aren’t real because they are fictional, but because they don’t have any flaws.
If you’re into anime I’d recommend watching “The Quintessential Quintuplets” which does a great job at destroying the romanticized version of a character the main character remembers.
have you tried just not engaging with the fiction and focusing on other things? staying busy and focused elsewhere consistently will cause you to move on, over time.
This absolutely not intended to sound condescending, genuinely curious. Are you a teenager?
18, yep!
Is this adoration of a character negatively impacting your life in some way? Does it prevent you from being productive or taking take of yourself? Does it detract from social activities? Is it causing you financial strain?
If it’s not now, it will in the future.
If someone is asking strangers for help to stop a behavior, you should believe that the behavior is an issue.
Would you ask this if the question was about alcohol?
stop all internet activity and join a local sports team
Get your haircut while you’re at it, and do some national service!
that might be taking it a little far, depending on the country
Yeh it was a joke I definitely wouldn’t recommend that ANYWHERE! It’s just that the original advice to which I was responding, while actually probably quite sound, had this funny kind of old man “you kids should get outside” kind of feel to it that I was riffing off and taking to extreme for fun. I hoped the “get your hair cut” part of it would make that a bit more obvious like a grumpy dad in the 60s telling the longhairs to get off their lawn. I probably didn’t do enough to make this obvious and now it’s coming across as sincere. Woops.
Or anything involving the outside world. Nature walks, bird watching, geocaching, etc. Doesn’t need to be anything competitive or strenuous.
too easy for the mind to wander back to fictional character with those activities.
I’m not saying this is the best advice, but maybe it resonates with you. Find a non fictional character or any subject that seems interesting. If there is a person that seems cool and has a biography try reading/listening/watching that. By doing this you broaden you horizon a little and that itself should give you a slightly changed view on your own fictional character. In this way you and you character can evolve together and that may also change your relationship with the character. As others have mentioned, joining a group activities like sports, volunteering, debating club, etc can also be beneficial. TLDR: Broaden your horizons. Try to interact with new people and new ideas/views.
This is just shifting addictions to another unhealthy parasocial relationship.
Someone with this type of issue needs to shift their focus to something different than idolizing a person, fictional or not.
We might also do them a favor and keep in mind that we’re not trained therapists, psychologists, or similar mental health pros of any kind… IANAPsych, et al. 🥲🤌🏼
Nothing wrong with being obsessed with a fictional character. Lean into it and find ways of fulfilling the pain you say you are feeling, eg maybe spend more time writing stories about the character to explore things you want to see the character do or go through.
If you really want to “get over it”, then focus on developing other hobbies and interests. Whatever your second biggest interest is, spend more time on that.
Genuine question: If it’s not a problem being obsessed with fictional character, is it a problem being obsessed with a real person? Why?
Some start religions, some other start cults, some others fan clubs.
Find out why you are obsessed with the character
This.
I’m like, 44 or something. Have experienced the same. Not like, three years ago, but not when I was your age either … somewhere in between. Looking back on it, it points to a very (now) clear gap I had in my life and relationships at the time, that the character, if real, and, if interested in me (or perhaps more accurately, were I the other party in the film), would have filled, perfectly. There is a reason they resonate so deeply with you. Identifying it can take a bit of the edge off - but actually finding it in real life (in a healthy way, in a healthy relationship, etc., etc.) is an even better solution.
The absolute best solution is, upon identifying it, figuring out how to provide it for yourself, so you’re not demanding or expecting others to provide it for you - but that’s like, super bonus points, hidden secret level shit that most people don’t achieve their entire lives.
Nothing wrong with it. Just understand that it’s completely fantasy. Check out the group that meets for depression because Avatar doesn’t exist.
It’s not a perfect solution but something that I do, is anything that requires my full attention and prevents me from thinking about them.
I too am currently having this problem because I can get easily attached to fictional characters. I’ve been playing Honkai Impact 3rd, which is my first time playing a Mihoyoverse game, and the story (at least part 1, I’m not in part 1.5 or 2 yet) is so tragic, that I’ve developed an attachment to the characters. I’ve been trying to take breaks from playing, so I can focus on other things, but I get depressed if I go too long without playing it.
As an internet rando with no credentials, I would say embrace it. Apparently this is something you need right now. Try your hand at publishing fan fiction.
