I don’t like my job, but I don’t hate it most days. I’m only there because I need the money and conditions are decent. I clock in, do my thing, clock out and try to enjoy my hobbies and eat decently.
I don’t believe most people would disagree with what I just wrote.
Mine is a blue collar job, physically demanding. The last 2 weeks have been working non stop from the beginning till clocking out, sometimes doing overtime that my employer pays, but not at a different rate. Yesterday I didn’t do my pause. Today I barely did it.
One younger coworker asked me if I enjoy doing my job and I asked him if he’s here as a volunteer. Obviously he is not, but he kept pestering me about me liking my job. I told him I like my hobbies and I’m here to work because I need money.
His is an office position btw, he sits way longer than I do.
By the look of his face you could tell this wasn’t an answer he was ready to accept. To me however, this younger coworker is naive (and stupid).
I plan to keep my conversations with this person to a minimum and not disclosing personal information around him, and I really hope he doesn’t talk to me anymore.
How would you deal with such a character?
Now I wonder if my answer can be used to fire me for ‘lacking motivation’, which is something any employer would write to justify firing somebody they don’t like.
This person is not a manager and is not a close friend of any manager afaik.
Him: “do you enjoy your job?”
Me: “eh, it’s alright. I don’t hate it.”
Him: “you should enjoy it”
Me: shrug “ok”
No need to really engage. No need to give a lot of details. If he pushes just kind of blow him off.
I sometimes get miffed by people that are more privileged than me telling me I should take it easy like them, when that is not an option for me. I remind myself that they just don’t get it and move on.
First, stop referring to him as a ‘character’. Doing that makes you look insecure with your own situation. Next, understand his real question behind his words which is something more along the lines of “shouldn’t a career be more rewarding than just showing up?” Expecting that to be achievable for everyone in this day and age may be naive, but his idealism and wish for happiness is not a bad thing. He’s likely coming from a place of care rather than purposefully trying to antagonise you. I suspect you are mostly angry at his testing of your carefully built mental fortress, the one that insulates you from dwelling on the tedium and uninspired drudgery your future in that position offers.
You really sure you’re okay good buddy?
I suspect you are mostly angry…
I don’t feel anger, he is however a nuisance I want to avoid.
at his testing of your carefully built mental fortress,
I didn’t have to think much to build this fortress, as you call it. You are exaggerating.
the one that insulates you from dwelling on the tedium and uninspired drudgery your future in that position offers.
let’s say you are right and my position is tedious and uninspiring (which sometimes it is). Why is that bad? it’s a job. Why are you looking for fulfillment in a job? Wouldn’t it be better to find meaning in a hobby or family? Maybe writing a book? Painting?
shouldn’t a career be more rewarding than just showing up?
no. it’s still a job. they have to literally pay you for you to be there.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect some fulfillment from something you spend like 36% of your awake time doing.
Why are you looking for fulfillment in a job?
As the other commenters stated, if you’re spending a significant portion of your life doing something, it makes sense to try to make it something you at least enjoy doing.
Wouldn’t it be better to find meaning in a hobby or family? Maybe writing a book? Painting?
Yes that’s well and good but the options are not mutually exclusive. You can have a rewarding hobby life AND a job that offers some measure of satisfaction and enjoyment.
do you understand just how incredibly easy money is to get in a bull market/bubble? they print a literal infinite amount of the stuff, and the richest of our society gamble with it at digital casinos so they can watch lines go up instead of spending it in the real world.
if you learn the rules to that casino, you would never have to work another day in your life.
that is to say, there are only two types of jobs in this world…those you do for money, and those you do because you no longer need money. this “character” you speak off still believes they can find the latter…perhaps tell them, honestly, that…no, that job your working at now will not bring them any greater fulfillment.
if they are looking for fulfillment from their job they should look elsewhere as to not waste anymore time (the only real finite resource, on the time-scale of any singular human)
I have a few friends at work where we’ve learned to trust each other over many years and many conversations. We enjoy each other’s company and are comfortable joking and talking shit about the job and bosses.
Outside of that very small group I practice “gray rock” tactics with all of the rest of my coworkers, especially people in management. I just act as boring and uninteresting as possible, so they don’t see me as any kind of threat and it greatly limits the “attack surface” they can use against me with others. Outside of my inner group of friends, my coworkers have almost zero knowledge about my family, my hobbies, my pets, anything at all.
This is not a good way to be if you are ambitious and want to climb the ladder. But if you just want to clock in, do your job, and clock out (like I do) then gray rock is the way to go.
glad to know I’m not alone.
Why is this bothering you so much?
The guy wants to enjoy his job. He might think it’s important to be surrounded by motivated people enjoying their jobs. Maybe he’s looking for identity in his work. Whatever he thinks…let him enjoy whatever his mindset is and let him be.
You have a different outlook and that’s fine. Its a pretty important life skill to be able to adapt to the person you’re interacting with. Everyone doesnt welcome varied opinions. You’ve made your position clear and he can’t accept that. If he asks you if you enjoy your job again then just smile and say “yeah it’s not bad”, if he presses then change the topic or find a reason to excuse yourself from the conversation. Also, everyone should be wary of going around work saying “this is just a paycheck, I don’t care”, so caution is advised anyway. You don’t have to lie, you can just keep some thoughts to yourself.
You think your thoughts. Let him think his thoughts. The different thoughts don’t have to bother each other.
You have to enjoy your job to a certain extent or you’ll grow to hate it. I like my job - I get paid well, have plenty of holidays, they are flexible, there’s bonuses, annual raises, and a good pension.
Do I enjoy the work? Enjoy is a strong word. There’s a thousand other things I’d rather be doing, but I’m good at it, it’s technically demanding, and the people I work with are predominantly nice.
As a caveat, I worked a dozen other jobs that were full of dicks, poorly run, zero prospects etc for 15 years before landing a good job. It’s a long slog, but if you really don’t enjoy it I’d aim to move to something you do enjoy or at least are interested in. It’ll benefit your wellbeing.
Even if you love your job, you’re going to grow to hate it, to a certain extent.
Sure there will still be aspects you enjoy, maybe. If you’re lucky. But there will still be times you hate your job.
Like nurses might love that they save lives. But then there’s always that person who’s constipated and the giant turd in a bedpan. Take a guess which happens more often.
I never hated my job. Sure, there were times where I wasn’t that motivated and I probably a few days, where I didn’t like to go to the office. But ai never hated it during the nearly 20 years I worked in this field. It is not ok to hate your job and most people don’t. Hate is a very strong feeling.
Even if you love your job, you’re going to grow to hate it, to a certain extent.
Yes, I got a job in a line of work I like and now I don’t like the line of work because it’s my job. I associate it with bad things now.
I’d be with you if you switched hate for dislike. If you really hate your job at any point, it’s time to look elsewhere. You wouldn’t stay with a person you hate, or do a hobby you hate, or listen to music you hate.
FWIW, if this kid is in his first real job, it is probably the first time anyone has told him it’s okay to hate your job. (Or at least, it love it.)
He may not be stupid, just being exposed to a new way of thinking he’s never heard. Of course he could be dumber than a box of rocks, too.
I usually say "If your job was fun they would charge admission instead of paying you. "
“I come to work to work, not talk about it unless it’s relevant to a job I’m assigned.”
I think the question is easier to answer if you remove the specific reason this coworker is annoying.
How do you deal with someone who bothers you with annoying, unwanted conversation about job satisfaction? The same way you deal with someone who bothers you with annoying, unwanted conversation about CrossFit or astrology. You answer every question with some version of ‘Huh, I don’t really know. I’m really busy, though, so I can’t talk. Have a good day.’
The whole careerism element seems largely immaterial.
I plan to keep my conversations with this person to a minimum and not disclosing personal information around him
Yeah, I think you’re right. It’s what I do.
How would you deal with such a character?
It’s at work so stay polite and professional. Keep your conversations work-related and positive (not overly cheery). Don’t say anything bad about anybody or anything. Basically, keep doing what you’re doing.
Who knows what this guy’s motivations are but it sounds like you’re pretty good at reading people. Good luck.
BLUF: You don’t deal with this.
The maximum amount of interaction you have with this guy should be the minimum amount the job requires.
Why do you feel a need to be honest about this, with this guy? WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO HONEST ABOUT THIS WITH ANYONE AT YOUR JOB
Swear allegiance to the flag
Whatever flag they offer
Never hint at what you really feel
Teach the children quietly
For some day sons and daughters
Will rise up and fight while we stood still
If the topic comes up again just give him the answer you are convinced he wants to hear.
Yeah man the job is great
It shut down the topic and I am certain this topic that is in no way required of your professional interaction with this non manager who works in the office.
With that said, bud find a job that you do enjoy. I work because I have too so my job is not my hobby but it something I enjoy doing.
Why do you feel a need to be honest about this, with this guy? WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO HONEST ABOUT THIS WITH ANYONE AT YOUR JOB
lying is tiring. And I just want to clock in, do my job and leave.
Of course it is tiring. Work always is.
You have to learn to play chess with work. You asked for a strategy and I have given you one.
I think you should do some self reflection. IT seems too me that you like this job more than you think.
err… I didn’t mean the work is (mentally) tiring, I meant lying LYING is mentally tiring.
… …… yeah but I guess you don’t get that you can’t separate the that from work…
Avoid and/or ignore. If they like their nose that certain shade of brown, they can go off all they want.
You could also turn it around on them and ask why they enjoy it or why they think you should. Get them to interrogate themselves and they might just learn something. It is not your job to do though and nobody reasonable would hold it against you if you just fucked off and left them to it
It seems to me that a lot do the job they do, because it pays and as you say the environment is ok.
I’m not going to say you must enjoy, but if you didn’t like it you would be looking for greener pastures. Or I would hope so, not just moaning about it.
I enjoy my job, but for the most part it covers my hobbies. So I tend to put more into it then if it was just the money keeping there.
I wouldn’t worry about this too much. He’ll stop bothering you if you seem uninteresting enough, so just give him minimal uninteresting answers. If he continues to bug you, that could potentially constitute workplace harrassment. If it gets to that point, warn him once. If he still persists after that, talk to your superior. Simple.
