As weird as the title sounds, my family really dislikes me using Tuta and not Gmail. Is your family also like this?
“Come on, Sarah, can’t you just be normal and use Gmail like everyone?”
- my mom, scolding me.
I’ll expand this question to my entire social circle.
I haven’t found that anybody cares about my email provider. It doesn’t affect them because email is federated. Nobody has ever asked me why I’m mailing them from a domain I own rather than a service provider they’ve heard of.
Where I do run into a lot of resistance is trying to get people to use Signal. Some people seem to find the concept of having multiple messaging apps objectionable, which has never made any sense to me as long as they have basic computer skills. On occasion, I’m on the other side of that conversation when I’m unwilling to use Facebook Messenger for reasons that should be obvious to anyone in this community.
I have found that even when people are conscious of the “technocratic & surveillance” state of the world, they still dont change their habits. Just like “this sucks” but they dont bother on looking for alternatives.
Even when I tell them about E2EE services, or the fediverse, they’re like “that sounds awesome”, but they never try it. Once I had a friend try Pixelfed and they loved it! I was so happy hehe but it goes stale after a few days, since other friends didnt switch. But were both telling others to switch sometimes.
My family uses Life360 for safety or emergencies, and I managed to switch them over to Paralino. It was all working seamlessly until they suddenly decided they wanted to go back, for whatever reason. I don’t know what it was, they wouldnt say, but it frustrates me that they would prefer giving out all out location info in rreal time to a company that has had many breaches and has sold such data, compared to a small one that can’t even access such data, and its just a few bucks. Idunno.
I get this all the time. 99% of the comments are from tech-illiterate people so I don’t care.
My brother surprised me recently by making a comment: “why would you go to the length of tinkering if you could just use [commercial solution].” So we’ll have a chat when I see him next month. He is quite tech literate and the last one I would expect to say something like that.
Otherwise I flat out ignore the comments. People have no clue and are absolutely ignorant sheep blinded by convenience and comfort. Which I am convinced this is going to end the human race. 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve known my lady friend for 30 or so now. She lives in her house and I in mine. We value our time together, but we also enjoy our own time alone. When she comes over, she is not as concerned about all the intricacies of privacy, anonymity, and security, she just wants to watch her shows, and doom scroll her phone for tasty recipes and such. She is an accomplished chef as well as a painter, and her confectioneries are divine. I set up a small NUC that is backed up with the main backups. On it is Mealie, so she can transfer recipes to a digital format for preservation.
She does acknowledge the validity of preserving her data, but that responsibility rests on me, the network admin. I made her a special vlan, kind of a ‘dumbed down’ version of my own where she can be reasonably protected, yet enjoy all the things she is used to doing on the internet. Other than that, when friends drop by to visit, they sometimes want to use the wifi. So, I have a guest Wi-Fi which is rather restrictive. So my core network is never accessed or by anyone other than me. It took a lot of time to assemble it all and make it all work, and I’m not going to willy-nilly adjust firewall rules on my core network so you can surf TikTok. Nothing against TikTok other than the shady specter that hangs over it. The content is fine. Some of the videos I’ve seen are funny, educational, etc. but it’s just not my thing.
So, yeah, I’ve had to make accommodations for a handful of people. Her laptop was giving her fits, so I introduced Mint into the mix. She has no problems driving the Linux bus. It looks like Windows, responds like Windows, she’s able to do the same things she did on Windows, so she is comfortable with the installation.
Same here, while this was a few years back it’s still relevant. My girlfriends parents are helicopter parents and would have a back door into everything if they could. So the one day I noticed that her mother had said to me that she doesn’t mind us going to movies two weeks from then. This was only said between the two of us in a text. This was a good opportunity to switch her over to signal. She asked me if there is a way to check if she was in anything else so I had her change password and move over to a password manager instead of the paper notebook in her room that her mother probably looked through.
Only a week later her mother did look through that notebook at one point for passwords because because she openly asked for it one day “so she could check her school email for scholarship information”, didn’t ask for just the password, but the whole notebook. From what I remember my girlfriend had a conversation with her mother about privacy that would turn into an argument.
Moral of the story, even people you are told you are supposed to trust aren’t trustworthy.
That’s literally everyone I know. They dont care about massive tech corps stealing everything. They have no clue they are feeding the machin e free data every time they use their shitty ai services. Drives me nuts.
my mental health was questioned so there’s that.
my explaination about surveillance capitalism and what possibilities corporations have to spy on us fell on deaf ears and raised concern. i got called “paranoid” and also “stupid”
Well, my mother associates that with my anxiety and stuff.
I’ve always been like that since decades ago and my family just always had this “oh you…” attitude. Most people don’t understand.
Having said that, happy to see more girls and women interested in this! That used to be very different
- it you would have WhatsApp, we could keep in contact
- oh, come one, we have a Facebook Family group
- can’t you just share a Google calendar with me
- …
Start using linux and install graphene on youre phone ,all hell breaks lose
Can’t graphene it, Xiaomi no longer sends unlock codes. 😢
Only Google Phones are compatible with gOS. I’d recommend getting a different phone the next time. Xiaomi is a shitty company doing their best at sourcing their resources for the hardware the worst way possible. And they are a privacy nightmare.
How is google any different?
Sell youre xiaomi ,buy a OEM unlocked pixel 8 pro, install graphene , its …great
Do they care about what e-mail you use? Weird.
Yeah, my parents are crazy. As I told another user, I’m surprised they didn’t give me parental controls yet.
Oh, also, thought it’d be interesting to mention the library didn’t want to grab my email just because it didn’t have my full name on it.
That’s a really strange thing. I would assume the library gets a lot of people who don’t have their name in their email address
Well, atleast not in my city.
thats wierd to me. my brother is not even techie but he grabbed a dns name. Most people, including family, think its kinda cool.
I’m the family’s tech nerd so no.
Btw mom’s laptop will soon rock Mint. Later step will be de-gmail-ing her.Huh? What difference does it make to them…?
Wait, thinking about it, is it because name at gmail is easier to remember for them? Because gmail is the “standard” in their minds?
Probably. But my parents are really crazy. This kind of thing was kinda expectable over the guys who start to yell at each other because of a pot’s shape.
Normies find it triggering if things take extra steps or aren’t proceeding in the normal way they expect.
My family (and wife especially) get triggered…“why can’t we just be normal and use Netflix, why do we have to tolerate any buffering on your Jellyfin thing. What was the email address you use again? Why don’t you just use WhatsApp like everyone else, no one uses this Signal nonsense. I’m sending you photos on Google Photos or WhatsApp, why should I have to figure out adding them to you NAS drop folder. What is this MailBox nonsense, why don’t you just share your calendar from google calendar”.
A lot of tech tools are social tools. Other people don’t want to think about this stuff. They don’t care about stuff that doesnt affect them. They don’t care about my FreshRSS feeds, that doesnt affect them. But they do care that I can’t send them photos on Google Photos.
Lawyer up, hit the gym, find a new wife
If it makes you feel any better, when someone calls on you being normal, they are, by definition, the asshole that can’t adjust. Doesn’t mean they’re an unlovable person, but it’s a personal flaw of them, not you. It’s not like you are changing their way of life. You are changing your way of interacting with them. Respect and understanding should go both ways, not just one.
I don’t really care about their complains on my ways anymore
You seem to care enough to ask strangers on the internet for similar experiences.
Meh
Do you not?








