• kn33@lemmy.world
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    11 hours ago

    Someone should email the Vatican and ask. Not because I think they have the answer, just because I think it’d be funny.

  • saltnotsugar@lemmy.world
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    11 hours ago

    Probably stand still otherwise that walking on the sea part of the Bible would have been hilarious as Jesus flips all over the place in the waves as the disciples yell, “Oh shit! OH FUCK!”

    • tetris11@feddit.uk
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      7 hours ago

      Let’s be honest, he probably used a glass bridge, and got some disciples to swim underneath it to convince his followers to like and subscribe to his teachings

  • Programmer Belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    11 hours ago

    The answer to the question depends on if Jesus walks over water or on water. I think the idea of him not being able to bath without disabling his habilities is funnier so he would go down the river as if it were an icy slope, behaving as a drop of a highly hydrophobic substance.

    • tetris11@feddit.uk
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      7 hours ago

      I can imagine the soles of his feet being hydrophobic, but I don’t see why the rest of him needs to be

    • Sabata@ani.social
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      8 hours ago

      What happens if it rains? Does he ping pong off the raindrops into the sky or dose he get a water bubble around him?

          • Deceptichum@quokk.au
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            7 hours ago

            Even wine has water in it, along with most of his body.

            I feel like they did a bad job fleshing out the magic system, it’s full of plot holes like this.

        • Sabata@ani.social
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          8 hours ago

          If hes in a bubble, but not above the water, he would be underwater. Meaning he would float to stand above his bubble if there’s enough water there, bringing the bubble with him keeping him underwater. So, he would shoot strait up like a rocket, or perhaps liftoff before the rain touches the ground…

          Is there an upper range on the power? What if a waterworld a billion light years away is directly overhead? Dose he travel to a surface faster than his human form could survive?

          • Programmer Belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            7 hours ago

            Jesus instantly vaporizing because technically there is ice in mars and he gets shot up is really funny but I think he can turn off the power at will and adjust the range

    • taiyang@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      I mean, I figured it was more a case like Hercules where he’s half god and thus is human with superpowers.

      • mech@feddit.org
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        5 hours ago

        In the middle ages you would have burned at the stake for that heresy!
        Jesus isn’t half God, half man. He’s all God and all man, and there’s only one God.
        Therefore he’s also his own son, and he had to truly die (but only for 3 days) as a sacrifice to himself, to convince himself to forgive you for being the way he created you.
        Then he came back for a bit before his human body physically rose up to heaven, where he sits at his own side.
        But he’ll come back again very, very soon. He just didn’t get around to it in over 2000 years.
        Get it right!

  • brucethemoose@lemmy.world
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    11 hours ago

    How fast is the current?

    Is there a flow threshold where he does start moving, and is that threshold relativistic?

  • xxce2AAb@feddit.dk
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    11 hours ago

    “Look, it’s an important unresolved question. We are all in dire need of doctrinal clarification. Does anybody know the Pope’s phone number?”

  • Lucky_777@lemmy.world
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    11 hours ago

    How many lands does he have left? Do I have any counter spells left? No way I’m allowing zombie jesus to walk on water, I got goblins to double on his ass.

  • ShellMonkey@piefed.socdojo.com
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    11 hours ago

    I would have to assume move. Unless this ability could be material specific or be disabled at will, he would have to still be in contact with the surface because otherwise if he was actually levitating at some minor level he wouldn’t be able to walk regardless of what he was standing on.

    • candyman337@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      Well the story of him walking on water was of him walking on the sea during a storm, so it definitely had a current, so I think he would stand still

      • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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        8 hours ago

        It doesn’t actually say whether he was bobbing up and down on the waves.

        Although I suppose the canonical explanation would be, He controls the water so that the part around His feet holds still. Because he’s also known to have calmed the storm.

      • ShellMonkey@piefed.socdojo.com
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        10 hours ago

        In that case though there’s active motion to move, and the ability to do so implies friction to push off against a surface. If he stood still then that same friction should carry him downstream.