Ability to control every atom in the surrounding area of approx 1 km.
You can control only 1 at a time.
Nuclear bombs, or a really good scientist.
1 at a time wouldn’t get you a noticeable amount of energy for a bomb (stuff is radioactively decaying around you already right now). A scientist might make some use of it, but with control of only 1 atom at a time they’ll struggle to build really any molecule as I imagine most intermediate molecules would break apart as soon as you “let go” to grab the next atom.
Immunity from all replies to this post.
Teleportation
But you lose one of your socks every time you teleport and they’re like really cool unique ones that only work as a pair. Heartbreaking.
Butt stuff is marginally less fun.
Really depends on the butt
crab claw
Only when jorkin it
Reading minds
But you have to start at the beginning.
You have no inhibitive filter, and compulsively blurt out whatever you’re thinking, including whatever the person is thinking when you’re reading their mind.
The ability to change my own superpower.
Uncontrollable and overwhelming diarrhea whenever you use any of the chosen superpowers, which is immune to any kinds of “and I’m immune to the side effect” types of loophole powers.
Switch sexes any time I prefer
… provided you are playing Uno and have a reverse card.
Every time you switch you have to peel off a layer of dead skin line a cocoon.
Seems like a small payment honestly
Damn that’s harsh. I didn’t expect that, it seems you have some great imagination.
The ability to redo any side effect into any effect I want at will.
But what you want is to undo the redo of the side effect, thus creating Hubert’s Paradox.
Cryokinesis
But you can only use it at 0°N 0°E
This looks like it can counter most powers except ones having effects in far away places
But you heat the random object in 100 metres from you
Master poet level fluency in all languages
You are now blind and deaf like Helen Keller. Good luck, she figured it out, you’ll be fine.
Terribly loud non-stop belching
So no new drawbacks, then? Sweet!
You can now hardly remember anything else (as happened to me, my memory is full of Chinese vocab with no space for anything else).
Being a cat
You make noise every time you walk
Ok, it’s basically like my cat.
The power to talk to women without staring at their feet.
Instead you cannot stop staring at their boobs. And yes, that includes your family, bosses and so on.
you can only speak to them in languages they don’t understand.
In long-dead languages they can’t understand
Deal. I’m Autistic so that’s barely any different.
Fall asleep at any time and place by will
It is impossible to wake up until you are fully rested, including by alarm, fire, or intruder.
I either wake up rested or not my problem anymore.
You wake up with a severe headache everytime.
This is apparently my superpower and side effect combo.
But when you wake up, you’re in a random spot in the wilderness. Every time.
Invisibility.
You emit an unmaskable and extremely noticeable odour whenever invisible.
That’s fine. That’ll just mean I’m a airborne disease since my invisibility would be infinite.
I’ll stick with the strongest superpower of them all, I am Cables Never Tangle Man!
But you cannot tie knots anymore. Even worse - every knot you touch magically slips open. Be careful not to trip over your shoelaces!
Velcro has entered the chat…
So many tiny little knots
It’s going to look like a shag rug as soon as they touch it
Your cables break every 3 days
Every time you get an error it is unknown error
