The boss walks in, there’s someone on the phone for you:
- Phone: “Hi, I’m the leader person behind that book/television/film franchise you complain about online and gee-whiz, you’re right! We want you to run things from here on out.”
- You: “Do I get supreme retcon powers?”
- Phone: “Of course! We’ll even retroactively edit in your changes!”
Huh, that was easy. What are you changing?
The Legend of Korra spoilers:
spoiler
Korra doesn’t stakelessly get her bending back 15 seconds after losing it to Amon. They had the opportunity to give her the self-discovery arc that they tried to shoehorn into the post-Zaheer poison recovery.
The series could’ve had much better footing, in my opinion, if Korra had wrestle with that just a bit longer. Instead, a bunch of bald people show up and say, “I got you, Holmes,” and then she’s good as new.
It’s been a while, and I’ve lost some of my steam over this. But yeah, that’s the only one I’ve got the energy to type out right now.
The Last Jedi doesn’t happen the way it did. Instead, the moment on the island where Rey tries to hand Luke the lightsaber has him reject it in anger and anguish, afraid that the past he thought he had left far behind him has re-emerged. It does not get casually tossed off the cliff for a cheap giggle. The reasons for the rejection can be broadly the same, if necessary, but they can be shown in a less weird and melodramatic way.
In this new version, Finn gets something (anything) to do, ideally something that will bring he and Rey closer together by the end.
Poe does not play “Can you hear me now?” with Hux. There is no casino planet, no obvious double cross and no little moppets with magical broomsticks.
Luke does not die at the end. Leia dies at the 2/3s point, and it’s this that finally brings Luke back into the fold, perhaps to get revenge, perhaps to honour her dying wish, whatever.
Snoke is not discarded like a used tissue. Kylo and Rey still communicate psychically, but there’s no hint of romance. Instead he starts to tempt her towards the dark side, leveraging the pain she feels towards the parents who abandoned her.
I dunno, just something which follows on more naturally from TFA, which is darker, and which definitely is less silly than what we got.
The Rise of Skywalker is in many ways the same as in reality, but it’s Snoke and not the Emperor that’s the Big Bad (although maybe you get the Emperor involved as some sort of Force ghost mentor to Snoke, or whatever). It follows on much more naturally from TLJ, because it doesn’t have to spend the first 30 minutes doing major course corrections. Finn and Rey get together, only for one of them to be killed off… or were they?
Jar Jar is the sith lord as intended.
I would tackle some of the sloppiness of Fallout’s lore in relation to the Bethesda games.
Primarily, I’d set Fallout 3 like 25 years after the bombs instead of 200. It never made sense to me that creatures or people can survive 200 years in a location with poison water. I’d have to take out the Ghouls or alter the lore there a bit, though.
I’d revamp the plot of Fallout 4, either making it totally about the synths or removing them entirely, and also set it shortly(ish) after the bombs fell. Bethesda doesn’t necessarily make bad games, they just don’t fully consider established canon before making creative decisions. Which irks me tremendously, because really all you have to do is hire one obsessed nerd and run decisions by him.
Spider-man one more day. Just let aunt May die. Have Peter go to therapy or something for the grief, then years later do a reveal that it was Norman Osborne the entire time.
I’m shocked nobody has said game of thrones yet
Everybody’s hoping GRRM is already on the task.
343/Microsoft should have let Bungie’s “ending” for Master Chief stay - Where chief saves earth but gets put into indefinite cryo as he is forever lost in space.
It would have put him full circle (as he was a superweapon waiting in cryo when the series started) and it would put him into a state not unlike the halos themselves, which I think was Bungie’s intent.
There are a lot of stories and things to explore within Halo’s universe and I would like to see more of those than bad-guy-of-the-week that Chief has to stop.
Warhammer 40k, dumping at least half of pyrrhic shit and needless grimdark but also bringing back the old lore that humans caused chaos.
All of the Kelvin-verse Star Trek movies and all Disney-canon Star Wars content.
.......Except for Andor and Rogue One. That shit is tight.
I agree about the start ears stuff after watching Andor I was like F the Jedi story line, I want more of this!
I don’t mind kelvin since it’s its own universe. Also I think it got lots of people into trek. The 09 movie is what got me started on the series and now I’ve seen it all many times over.
But why the kelvin universe, it already is its own canon
Yeah, that’s easy to ignore, if you insist. Not even a mention of the whole Picard disaster? Weird.
Jeremiah, Jericho, dead like me.
They were all great ideas (though jericho wasn’t necessarily original), that if you grabbed some great writers could be modernized to be awesome. But since they didn’t have a wide audience, they never will happen unless I use this power. Most of the others mentioned here will eventually get redone.
Do I also have unlimited money? What am I saying, the BBC is obviously swimming in money. Undo everything until shortly before the Doctor regenerates into David Tennant again and instead commission Studio Ghibli to do a 26 episodes series based on my Doctor Who comic about 13 and Rose, voiced of course by Jodie Whittaker and Billie Piper.
No, I don’t at all hate everything since Jodie left, I just prefer my vision, that’s all. :D
Okay, I am a merciful god - if the BBC have to watch their budget this year, we just undo The Power of the Doctor.
The Master’s plan is now not simply to swap clothes with the Doctor (???) but to actually swap faces. Jodie gets to be the Master and go bonkers on the universe while the Sacha Dhawan!Doctor has to convince Yaz (cue lesbian confusion) that he really is the Doctor and then go after the Master. At the end of TPotD, the Jodie!Master still regenerates into David Tennant (wearing 13’s clothes for fuck’s sake) and the 60th Anniversary is about how the Master uses the Doctor’s most popular face to absolutely ruin their reputation in all of time and space.
(Donna, after having her memory forcefully restored, instantly clocks that this is not the Doctor she knows but is forced to accompany him because he is threatening her daughter. She complains loudly about everything he does.)
In the end, the Doctor still regenerates into Ncuti and we’ll see where to go from there.
… can 13 and Yaz at least have the chastest of kisses on the lips before the end? That’d be fine too…
Hmm, I’ll have to run it by the head office but I think unlimited money should be okay. (and heck yes, I’m down with this vision)
Nnnnnoice. 🤩
We’re bringing back Sliders without a reboot.
It was the real Arturo that got left behind in “Post Traumatic Slide Syndrome”, and Remy ends up finding him again after his cliffhanger solo slide.
Working with Arturo, they manage to get a slidegate up and running to go back for the others. They also find a dying copy of Quinn along the way who has some valuable Kromagg info and end up merging him into Mallory like the accident that melded our Quinn into him, in a last-ditch effort to save him. The presence of this third Quinn, who is almost like the original, outweighs Mallory so we have Jerry O’Connell back in the cast.
The gang all back together, they go to deliver the Kromagg bio-weapon in Remy’s blood and succeed. It’s now slowly spreading across all worlds. But the Kromagg big bad they’re fighting during this process sets off some kind of nuke inside a slide-tunnel, destabilizing the entire thing and basically scrambling sliding across all worlds. Even if you knew how to precisely connect to a world before, it goes somewhere else now.
And now we’re back to the classic formula, we can do whatever we want from here.
Also we get Will Sasso to come back as hotelier Gomez Calhoun at least once a season.
Command and Conquer - the Tiberium Saga. Leave Tiberian Sun and Firestorm alone, modify C&C 3 to have better continuity with Tib Sun and Firestorm on the state of Earth (i.e. Tiberium Fauna and Flora, further degradation of Earth environment). Remake C&C 4 where base building is part of the core gameplay element again, and delay the deus ex machina effect of the Tacitus such that the Earth is not in such a pristine state as what we do see in C&C 4
at least half of Dragon Ball Super
A lot of horror movie franchises would get retcon or some installments would outright be axed.
Friday the 13th would not need to go on for 10 movies. Get rid of Parts 9, 3, 5, X and 8. This is now going to be a compressed, coherent movie series of 5 movies where we attempt to establish a better comprehensible story involving Jason. Kane Hodder is the staple actor of Jason.
Nightmare on Elm Street, going to cut out Parts 6, 5, 2, and 4. Compress and re-write the story while retaining elements of selected pieces to build off from. The remake will not have ever happened. Freddy vs Jason would still happen but it would be involving the original creators of both Nightmare on Elm St and Friday the 13th and Kane Hodder will star as Jason. No cop out ending like the original version got, but the victor would not only be decided by final battle but also body count.
Halloween, take out 3, 4, H20, 2, 5, Resurrection and all of the Rob Zombie directed ones. Retcon.
Scream, that movie series feels more like a trilogy movie so that’s what it is going to be instead of all of these unnecessary installments.
Final Destination, same thing.
Saw, same thing as I felt the series ended beautifully with three movies but went entirely off the rails in later installments.
Puppet Master, I would honestly keep to 5, get rid of all of the ones where they focused too much on the Nazi stuff and the clash they had with Demonic Toys.
Leprechaun, just get rid of the ones where he entangles with the Hood and obviously the space one and max the series out at 2 films.
Hellraiser, keep it to two movies.
