• OpenStars@piefed.social
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    20 hours ago

    Looking at instances such as Hexbear and lemmygrad.ml… are they wrong though? And many other instances have given Hexbear a platform to promote and host i.e. spread their content across the wide Fediverse.

    We are a tankie bar, plain and simple. Yes you can block it, but most instances have not historically gone very far in that regard, from the perspective of a new Reddit refugee, e.g. a centrist, religious, American who may not like what is going on but also is put off by calls for things such as outright murder.

    If we want to expand, we need to get better at labeling the spaces so as to make people with a wider (aka more diverse) set of backgrounds comfortable here. We won’t though, instead preferring to simply claim that everything that “in-group” says is correct (and often not allowed to be questioned, though mod & admin tolerances varies wildly) and everything that “out-group” says is 100% wrong and everyone is “stupid” for believing such.

    funny image

    • Saymaz@lemmygrad.ml
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      7 hours ago

      Lemmy was literally created by two ML (not machine Learning) programmers and people are acting like communists are the ones who invaded this space. 😂

    • FailBetter@crust.piefed.social
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      19 hours ago

      My only issue with this is that a ‘centrist, religious, american’ is never going to put the necessary effort to even gaze outside the labyrinth of walled-gardens. So you’re hoping to cater to the very demographic that is the last to ever find visibility of such a platform

      Edit: Install Gentoo

      • OpenStars@piefed.social
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        12 hours ago

        It’s fine if they never come here… but in that case can we be surprised when they lack an understanding of how it works and, seeing e.g. [email protected], Lemmygrad.ml, perhaps even places that pretty much every respectable instance owner defederates from, then calls this place a horrid cesspool of toxicity?

        That’s also what people call us on r/Redditalternatives btw. Look up the tankie associations with the very name of Lemmy itself - not the software, but the actual name.

        Or if we don’t care about people coming here, or anyone else’s opinion (especially uninformed), then why does this post exist in the first place? So perhaps we do care then, even if only a little?

        I just wanted us to push ourselves to be more self reflective and honest about who we are. Whatever that ends up meaning, I don’t even fully know.

    • Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      19 hours ago

      I use Mint, btw.

      Also that’s kind of the point, anyone can host an instance, and those who pay for or maintain their own servers make the rules. That includes who they federate with. Those who are willing to host and maintain an instance tend to more active in social discussion, whether being a refuge for a social group (blahaj.zone for my example), a school of thought on any segment of the political spectrum, or just to host anything without questions.

      Given the current atmosphere of hostility for members of my community’s group, I am… quite apathetic towards your calls for us to “allow questioning” for things such as our rights to exist with a society respecting of our presence or self-defense.

      This is not exclusively a circumstance for more leftist communities, by the way. Conservative platforms have similar inclinations to work with each other (alongside plagiarizing ActivityPub software work, such as Mastodon https://www.vice.com/en/article/truth-social-is-mastodon-trump/ )

      TL;DR: make your own instance and federate how you would like with your userbase. Or find an instance that already shares your POV and has federated similarly. Or just use the block feature?

      • OpenStars@piefed.social
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        12 hours ago

        “allow questioning” for things such as our rights to exist with a society respecting of our presence or self-defense.

        I never said anything even remotely similar to that, but I suppose how I can you see that as a logical next step. Where I was coming from was rather: if you consider yourself to be in kinship with Hexbear bc of the trans connection then in that case I completely understand your response, and just as readily disagree with it. Fwiw, Ada would as well, I am pretty sure?

        The topic under discussion was toxicity, which Hexbear outright revels in at whereas Blåhaj Lemmy I thought was a beacon of shining hope to weed out such and create a truly welcoming atmosphere? (in regards to LGBTQIA+ lifestyle) Lumping the two together would be like saying that you must be best buddies with Donald Trump if you are a man (you = anyone here, non-specifically). Just as there is more than one way to live life, there are more than two sides to every logical position. I think there might be ways for people to co-exist, without Blåhaj Lemmy having to put up with any crap, and vice versa if conservatives wanted to not see that you exist. But seriously, if you are not aware, that’s not what [email protected] is all about - that is only what they claim to be, which is what we might call an “alternative fact”.

        Thank you for your politeness even if we did disagree (which I am not certain that we did actually:-).

        Fwiw I was not necessarily saying that we MUST or even that we SHOULD welcome mainstream normies here - I do happen to think that, but I have long since given up any hope that it will ever happen. So rather my position here was that we should be honest about what is present vs. not found anywhere in the Fediverse. We do have toxicity here. Even if you think that I personally am the chief source of it… then that still would show that such exists, no? As you open your eyes, perhaps to places best left hidden (and many of which fortunately your instance has already defederated from), you will see that it is quite common. This is a sad fact, but a true one.

        • MummysLittleBloodSlut@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          8 hours ago

          if you consider yourself to be in kinship with Hexbear bc of the trans connection then in that case I completely understand your response, and just as readily disagree with it. Fwiw, Ada would as well, I am pretty sure?

          Ada thinks Hexbear is a trans instance and it’s rly rly weird. Any time I talk to those guys I think they’re gonna call me a slur

          • Diva (she/her)@lemmy.ml
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            4 hours ago

            Based on user polling they’re over half non-cis, most of the moderation team is trans. In the broader Lemmy its way more likely I get misgendered or called a degenerate roach.

          • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works
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            1 hour ago

            You know what? Fair.

            I don’t like Hexbear, but r/196 was a toxic cesspool on Reddit, and I’ve always tried to stay clear of the Lemmy version because of it

          • MummysLittleBloodSlut@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            8 hours ago

            I’m rly glad Hexbear defederated Blahaj because I just don’t have the bandwidth to deal with those people most of the time. I always feel unsafe around them as a trans woman, and it’s not just the mansplaining and the pig poop balls

            • Diva (she/her)@lemmy.ml
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              4 hours ago

              I always feel unsafe around them as a trans woman

              can you elaborate, because as a trans woman I’ve not felt unsafe at all.

              • MummysLittleBloodSlut@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                3 hours ago

                Any time I said something they disagreed with on a shared community, I got dogpiled with “um, ackshually” style responses or even called a CIA agent. It felt like a hostile and unforgiving place, where I had to measure up to their standards or I’d just be punished. It was easy to feel like I’d be called a slur if I said something about my experiences as a woman they didn’t like. I stayed quiet about that sort of stuff when I saw them in a thread because I didn’t feel like I could be open, I stuck to things that were less personal to me.

                • goat@sh.itjust.works
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                  57 minutes ago

                  It’s funny how their reaction to you calling them out on dogpilling is to… dogpile on you

                  lol

                • OpheliaAzure@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                  1 hour ago

                  sounds like the problem wasn’t with the fact you are a trans woman but rather that you have reactionary beliefs that were challenged

                  lemmy.blahaj.zone defederated from hexbear over a year ago so what shared space?

                  https://hexbear.net/post/369410

                  moss the same person who fucked the first 196 community here is the same person that fucked the relations between hexbear and blahaj

                • Diva (she/her)@lemmy.ml
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                  3 hours ago

                  It was easy to feel like I’d be called a slur if I said something about my experiences as a woman they didn’t like.

                  Weird, because they ban people for that. I’ve been called plenty of hostile shit voicing my experiences as a trans woman in shared lemmy spaces too, and it’s not from hexbear users.