- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
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As someone who formerly worked with and still volunteers with people with autism, this story was really touching. I know exactly what Rob and Dianne mean when they say Ronnie enriched their lives.
One of the biggest issues people with autism suffer with is loneliness and isolation; I encourage anyone looking for something meaningful to do with their time to look into how to become a friend to someone who is differently abled.
I run a social club for queer men in the South, we have a lot of folks who are neurodivergent or have issues with socialization. It’s really incredibly rewarding to get a note from a member saying, “I haven’t ever had a friend until I joined, thank you.” Now I want to spread this everywhere, not just queer men, but a social club for everything - like funny hats? Social club for it. Like to make jam? Social club! Everyone join a club.
Back in the 1800s, 1900s, people were absolutely involved in these clubs - oddfellows, order of the moose, etc. But now we’ve given all that up for pretend connection on social media, which makes everyone lonelier. Fuck.
After his death, a new £1.6m wellbeing centre attached to Glenwood Church in Cardiff was named Lockwood House, after Ronnie. But the old building and the new building didn’t quite match, and they needed extra funding to finish the renovation. “But they needn’t have worried,” said Rob. "Almost to the penny, it was the exact amount Ronnie had left in his will. “In the end the homeless man put the roof over all of our heads.”
The title reads like a horror movie, but the story is so wholesome.
“An innocent man made the mistake to ring the wrong doorbell on Christmas, little did he know the residents of the house were about to murder him by old age!! Based on true events. Police to this day pressed no chargers.”
So that’s what people mean when they say “kill them with kindness.”
I’m not crying, you are!
You haven’t done anything wrong, Ronnie. You were a good one.
I am in genuine heavy tears (the kind where you have huge beads just trickling and then just a continous stream). Both of joy and sorrow.
Both a beautiful and challenging story.
That’s a touching story, but something bothered me with the way the article characterized him.
ASD isn’t intellectual disability. It can be comorbid, but they only state “autism” and “difficulties learning.” ASD is a disability, but the author seems to be worsening the stigma of ASD, whether they are doing it intentionally or not.
Ronnie was sent to a “school for subnormal boys” in the fifties/sixties, it’s as likely his low reading and writing levels came from a shockingly poor education as any additional intellectual disability. The state of the art in British psychiatry when Ronnie was a child still considered autism a symptom of schizophrenia.
Oof, heartwrenching story but I couldnt do it.
If someone hangs their eyelids at me and asks if they’ve done something wrong, that’s an immediate flag for passive-aggression, and my heart has learned to be cold to that kind of manipulation.
I’m amazed they made it work
I’ve been manipulated by people who do it on purpose, and it really screws with one’s threat response. (Especially if the manipulation occurred during formative years.)
I have to make an intentional effort to coach myself through these situations to have an appropriate level of empathy. It’s really fucking hard not to sound like an asshole sometimes - and really easy for others to misunderstand me because they don’t have the same frame of reference.
Dude. The guy had autism. He was not manipulating them with that statement
Oh I know, I was talking about my own mental/emotional handicaps. I am immune to puppy-dog eyes and self-deprecating statements, I have just seen it misused too much growing up
I also have the tendency to ask for forgiveness or asking if i did something wrong (but without puppy eyes i hope); it comes from a place of always questioning myself and very low self esteem. I just want to let you know for people like me (i’ve got a personality disorder) or Ronnie it’s not about manipulation, it’s about missing this basic trust in my surroundings and in the stability of relationships that most people have. I actually really want to know if i fucked up so i can do better; just keep in in the back of your mind before you are too cold to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
I will try to keep an open heart. Fwiw I used to have the same low self esteem, and still do needlessly stick my neck out to be chopped by others in moments where I don’t believe in myself and want to prove my fealty to others through peity…
I can only say this after decades of experience: don’t put yourself down, even jokingly, in front of others. You may think that you’re telegraphing humility or a lack of arrogance, but all you’re actually doing is showing others how to treat you. Don’t do it.
Sorry for the preachy comment
That’s easier said than done - the low self esteem and the fear of rejection is an integral part of my personality (AvPD is a bitch), but since the same fear of rejection causes me to just break off relationships, i rarely encounter those situations nowadays.
I wish you happy holidays!
Oh wow, I wish I saw this wikipedia article a few years ago. This was (is still partially) me to a Tee!
All I can say is: get your heart broken, be laughed at, endure ridicule, and come out the otherside a
broken, jaded, dejectedbetter and stronger person :-)Happy holidays to you too fellow AvPDer!
Alan Harper?
Paywall.
not really? it would be news to me that the BBC put up a paywall
Huh, TIL mobile BBC is paywalled. Thanks for that.
Oddly enough, following the link from the HackerNews post allowed me to read the entire article, which was moving.
Hmmm strange. For what it’s worth, i can only recommend Bypass Paywalls Clean or for a more temporary fix when you encounter it https://clearthis.page/
I wish you merry christmas :-)
