I realized I wanted to be a slave because I was born with no money.

It’s a really great life.

If I can ever save more than a few thousand I would love to stop paying half my income in rent and maybe one day own a home. Then I might be able to afford to take a little time off from work

Well, I grew up depressed and with constant thoughts of suicide, so that had a pretty big impact. I was kind of naturally good at schoolwork, but was hamstrung from the fact that I disliked actually doing homework at home (if felt too boring and I would get distracted), and that I constantly stayed up until 2 or 3 in the morning, so I was always exhausted. And while I sometimes found the actual learning or schoolwork engaging, I hated the school environment, where it seemed all my teachers found me, at best, to be a kid who was safe to ignore and, at worst, an annoying burden; while my peers would bully me constantly and exclude me from basically all social activities.

Eventually it got to the point where I was actively looking forward to the day when I would kill myself so that I wouldn’t have to suffer living anymore. But that day kept seeming far away. Eventually I had a kind of gradual waking up, where I realized that if I wasn’t going to kill myself, I had to find a way to make my life worth living - because I couldnt accept living like this for another 70 years.

So I started trying to figure out why I was so miserable, what would make me happy, and how to change my life to achieve those ends.

My nerdiness led me to studying the sciences, which eventually led me to software, where I got a job.

But my loneliness and depression led me to discovering that spending time in nature, exercise, eating healthy food, and having good social interactions made me happier.

When I got my first software job, I realized that the florescent lighting and grey cubicals reminded me of my school environment, and I hated it again. So I found the concept of early retirement. At this point, my experiences in the outdoors and being friends with outdoorsy people served me well - I knew that I could endure and excell in conditions of physical discomfort, and that I could figure things out for myself with enough tinkering.

So I built out my own camper van and lived in it while working as a software developer, saving up a bunch of money and putting it into index funds. When covid hit, I was able to buy 2 houses, and now I rent those out for some passive income.

Once I had all that done, I quit my software job. These days I live off of those passive investments, doing the repairs and property management myself for the most part. And then I supplement that income sometimes with some part time work as a concert rigger. A lot of the time I’m just in my van travelling around, spending time with friends, and rock climbing.

It’s hard to give advice to an internet stranger, but here are some of the things I think would have been useful for me to know.

First - learn how to look good. Get a good haircut, wear good clothes that fit, and keep yourself clean and groomed. In all of these things, look for ways to express your values, personality, and lifestyle. First impressions matter a lot, and how you present yourself is your first first impression.

Second - there is a lot to be said for working hard, being smart, never giving up, and committing to the grind. But the two biggest gaps I had were mindset and social skills, which are inextricably linked.

Sometimes you really just have to embrace the suck and grind it out - but things tend to work out much better if you have a positive attitude, are happy with your life and where it is going, like who you are as a person, and expect your life to be full of excellent opportunities. I dont believe that “everything happens for a reason”. But I believe that everything that happens can be a valuable lesson - so you can be grateful for the good things that happen to you because they are good, and grateful for the bad things that happen to you because these are the things which help you learn and grow as a person.

And when you have a light-hearted, can-do attitude, you tend to find you are rarely short of friends. Get comfortable meeting new people, push yourself to find the people you really click with, and deepen your relationships with the people you find. Always keep going out and finding new connections, and try to find something positive about every person you meet - even if you might not want to spend a ton more time with them. These people will form your social support network, who can pick you up when life has beat you down. They will imbue you with their own energy and ideas, so you can see how many opportinities you really have. And on a practical level, they will open up professional opportinities for you to advance your career or switch careers. In particular, try to get out and meet people outside your normal peer group age-wise. Older people can often be a wealth of knowledge and opinions gained from a lot more life experience than you have, and younger people tend to have a lot of interesting ideas and energy from not being encumbered by some of life’s harsher blows.

Third, take care of yourself. Drink water, eat protein and vegetables, avoid junk food, avoid excess screen time, exercise regularly, sleep well as often as you can, get out into the fresh air and sunshine.

A good question to ask yourself:
What do you love or want?

Just ask yourself this question, and answer honestly. Then ask yourself - “how do I do that?” Then, try something to achive your goal. You can take this exercise as far as you want, planning a whole life for yourself that is truly amazing - but it should be noted that this only works if you actually get started on the work. Sometimes we get paralyzed, thinking that our ideas for how to get from A to B arent good enough, or will obviously fail. But often, just by standing up and getting started, we find new, better ideas coming to us as we work.

If you find that question really difficult, then here is an easier one:
What do you HATE?

This one tends to be easier, because the things we hate tend to be a lot more concrete and easier to bring to mind. Maybe you hate sitting in traffic, or not having a new video game you really want, or sitting under florescent light bulbs. Good! Now ask yourself: how can I avoid these things as much as possible? The answers to these questions often won’t lead you to a life you want - but they will often lead you in the right direction.

I wanted to rock but my dad belittled me until I told him explicitly that “I wanna rock”, somehow saying those words made me spin in place and change into an adult glam rocker. The resulting explosion launched my father (a veteran) thru the roof. All my mother would do to help him was spray him with water.

He died from his injuries

The only air conditioned room at my first duty station was a closet they called a server room… No one wanted to do the computer stuff when the cool toys were on the airstrip.

As for advice… Don’t be scared, every adult you meet is faking it to some extent and it took me a long time to realize it. Also, be wary of random advice on the internet lol.

I’m almost 50 and still don’t know. The best advice I can give is to try lots of things. Very few people just know, and even they didn’t know until they tried.

I didn’t, I made a career choice early high school to become a lawyer, because it’s arguing with logic and is well paid, then I realized that not only is that quite a competitive field with lots of people going to law school, but I am also not a fan of the social part of it, so I pivoted to Software Engineering late high school and went to University for that, I have been doing that ever since, I enjoy it, it pays well.

As for the rest of my life, I have never really had plans, but I was always nihilistic and I also don’t want kids, so it’s kinda meh, but I have discovered some things I truly love doing, like going to techno parties and such, so I do that.

Then whatever happens will happen.

Well. First my body made it clear I had to eat and drink. Then it became clear I had to have shelter. Then I realized I just have to do whatever I can get my hands on doing to not die. So that’s what I’m doing.

Unless your mommy and daddy have a lot of money, you’re not going to have a whole lot of choice in the matter. You’re just going to do what you have to.

Grandfather was a Firefighter. Older sister became an EMT. We watched lots of medical shows growing up. My favorite was a show called: Emergency. It’s about the beginning of the Paramedic program in California. (Not the original paramedic program).

I was hooked. I’ve been in EMS for 38 years. Army Medic '86-'89, EMT '89-'00, Paramedic '00- current. I’m still on the road. Trying to reach 50 years.

A long string of momentary necessities

The short answer is, whatever you want.

For the longest time I too had no idea, though I knew what I didn’t want to do. I just didn’t want to deal with anyone else’s bullshit.

So i made enough money to have my own place and make my own choices.

For now I recommend you take a Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs approach. Secure the Physiological and Safety Needs and the rest will follow.

In order to do P and S in western society you need to make enough money to pay all your own bills.

That’s the neat thing: as an adult, you dont have to decide. You have the rest of your life to figure it out.

My mom always said “you don’t need to know what you are doing for the rest of your life, just decide what you are doing for the next five years”.

You don’t have to commit to any one thing in this life. I’m doing very little at age 51 that I was doing at age 27.

I also wasn’t doing what I truly wanted to do most in life until my 40s.

I fell into it. Needed a job, saw a sign, liked it, now I’m manager.

I’m not sure I know what I want for life but I have a number of things I don’t want so I’m trying my best to steer clear of those.