A game changer for me was separate cover blankets.
When we got together this was not even negotiable on either side, we basically laughed at the idea of a single blanket.
I did suggested a single mattress to not have a gap but got a simple no and didn’t ask again.
I sleep better snuggled up against someone.
I uses to suffer from night terrors regularly that mostly went away when I started sleeping with SO. Thay being said we do sleep better in a long size bed then in the standard twin we have at home. So maybe the issue is space.
It took me a few years to convince my partner that sleeping separately would be a good idea. He snores and I am a very light sleeper. It has improved our relationship to sleep apart. Since I talk to my friends about it, I know that many of them also sleep apart and credit it for being able to stay happily married instead of being sleep deprived and always mad at their partner. On vacation, we often go back to sharing a bed.
I agree. My wife and I fought against separate beds for a long time, but some things went down that required us to have alternate sleep schedules so that forced us to do it.
That was 12 years ago and we have had separate bedrooms ever since.
We have since learned that pretty much all of our friends who have been married for significant number of years sleep in separate beds. Sleeping is such an important part of living and a huge impact on QoL. So once you accept that quality sleep is a basic need and not a referendum on the state of the marriage it just solves a set of problems.
Using a Device of Mandibular Advancement I have been able to stop snoring completely and I don’t need CPAP anymore.
It is done by dentists.I think that we as couple, we feel somewhat the same. Split bedrooms never hurt us. Try’na pretend that we don’t do weird stuff in our sleep is absolutely crazy talk. The bizarre behavior we do in our sleep is downright weird & funny. There should absolutely be no shame in sleeping separately for a solid nights rest. Any halfway intelligent couple is aware of this. Or at least will soon be turned on to this insane idea. .
I sleep much better accompanied. I’m single at the moment and it’s been dreary.
My only non solicited advice… don’t advertise your lonely… let it happen organically, then it’s real. Recognize it’s not forever. Nothing is, but enjoy the time you have with your significant other and embrace it.
When I’m sad I just stop being sad and be awesome instead.
Relics of reddit… that wasn’t even close… I was giving my only wisdom from a place of experience, and seemingly got torn down for empathizing and trying
gettingto help…It’s a reference to the popular TV show How I Met Your Mother
Interesting…
I struggle to sleep without my husband. I need my feet to touch his, at least. We share a queen bed, even use the same blanket (it is a King blanket though). Im really surprised so many folks don’t sleep in the same bed at their partner here. Nothing wrong with it, I’m just surprised.
Maybe things will change when we are older, but I couldn’t imagine.
I am kind of incredulous that anyone actually sleeps better with a whole separate person in the bed. It gets too hot and you both wake up whenever the other one uses the bathroom, or if you don’t go to bed at the same time, or if you don’t get up at the same time. Just from those basic mechanics it seems to defy logic that actual sleep quality, beyond some intangible aesthetic, wouldn’t be negatively impacted.
I have terrible insomnia, I have misophonia, and I am a light sleeper. My partner talks in his sleep, he’s a furnace, and a loud breather, but I’ll tell you, nothing conks me out like turning over and being the big spoon on that guy. When he’s out of town it’s harder (or at least less comfortable) to fall asleep. Sometimes when I really really can’t sleep for hours, I’ll reach over and just hold his limp sleeping hand and it helps.
He can fall asleep anywhere and sleep through anything though. If we were both poor sleepers, idk what we’d do.
Usually we both have to pee around 2am, so the wake up is not a bother. We also are used to each other’s alarms, so aren’t woken by the other.
We do the same, she’ll have a foot touching my ankle and I’ll have a hand touching her hip. Sometimes her toenails are stabby and I roll away but she seeks me out in her sleep lol.
Occasionally I’ll sleep on the couch if I have a sinus headache as it is more upright to promote drainage, but vast majority of time we sleep together.
I wish I could sleep in the same bed as my partner (forever, not just the rare nights when we try). It’s lovely to have the physical touch as I fall asleep. Unfortunately I toss, turn, and sometimes wake up in cold sweats from nightmares, so it’s better for both of us to have the separate beds.
My husband used to have night terrors before he got sober. That shit was scary! He would sleep talk, and not sound human. I’ll never forget I woke up early one day while he stayed asleep and I heard him yelling “help” over and over. I was so scared, I ran to him, and woke him.
Thank goodness it stopped when he got sober. I feel for anyone who gets night terrors, it’s no fun
Works great if you have extra rooms around your house for each person. Must be freaking nice.
I sleep better when I’m next to my wife.
I also sleep better when I’m next to your wife
… Sorry, my pre-Lemmy internet use has corrupted me.
“I also choose this guys’ wife.”
“ass to ass, ass to ass”
Yah, my partner and I sleep in the same bed and under the same blankets and I sleep best when either I’m snuggling them or they’re snuggling me.
My ideal living situation with a partner would be:
Two entirely separate living areas with individual bedrooms, plus a third area for both of us that also has a bed.
So in other words, I’ll probably be single forever.
I mean, that’s how it’s like with my third partner, so I think you’ll be okay.
(Note: we are poly, not cheating with HR)
Me and husband each have our own blankets and sheets and such on the one king bed. Cause he’s a furnace and I’d explode if I got that hot. It’s much nicer.
I love that one person downvoted you for this comment. I think the internet was a bad idea.
I try not to pay attention to the vote count, and just let my comments uhhh do their thing which is ‘rambling’ probably!
Scandinavian sleeping, it’s the best!
My wife always claims that I “steal her blanket”, so we also got one each. But they’re each 2x2.2m so if we wanna share one, we can
Add ear plugs and you described by bedroom
How do you ear plug people hear your alarm in the morning? Ive considered trying it but I already have a hard enough time waking up.
Alarms for the deaf come with bed shakers / vibrators. You just chuck a little puck under your pillow / mattress and it definitely wakes you
Different earplug guy here: smart watches and some other devices vibrate or tap on your wrist.
That’s how I wake up, plus I don’t disturb my wife!
Yep, that’s me too
Yes, separate covers, this is the way.
They come in the night and steal them otherwise.
I sleep so much better with my wife. Unless I snore, then I get kicked awake all night
I also sleep so much better with your wife
you’re the one kicking him, aren’t you?
Oh shit, Jen? /s
We all sleep alone soundly
XD XD XD
Oh my sweet summer child…
Wah? You wanna cuddle?
Ass to ass.
Best sleep (on side):
- Medium-thick, soft, flexible, cotten, blanket
- Head pillow compressed to single shoulder height
- Cuddle pillow to support top shoulder
- Sleep mask to prevent light disruption
- Partner ass to ass
- Cat on top to hold everything down
I sleep better with my wife in the bed :3
I sleep better with your wife in my bed too!
Married and swear by seperate beds. It’s amazing if you’ve got the space. But it is good to make sure you get plenty of “lying about in bed together” time. But it’s great to be able to go off to your own bed after for a peaceful, undisturbed sleep. And being able to read a night or get dressed in the morning without worrying about disturbing your partner.
I read that last one “or get depressed in the morning”. How thoughtful not to bother your partner with that, I thought. But getting dressed is good too.
I also need to sleep alone. Everyone is different. My wife stirs so much that it’s better to sleep in separate beds and have ehmmm surprise night visits.
